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Christmas Gifts

At Christmas time, you will have a few different categories of folks to buy gifts for, and stressing over how much to spend on Christmas gifts per person can really get to you if you don’t have a plan.

Much like birthdays, there can be slightly different social rules and expectations, depending on the situation and gift recipients.

According to some financial studies, the average Christmas gift cost per person when buying for a group of close family and friends is $41.38.

Birthdays

As simple as birthdays can seem, there are many things to consider. How much to spend on a birthday gift is just one of them.

Relationships, immediate vs extended family, whether you know someone well or not, milestones (for instance, Sweet Sixteen or a 50th birthday).

So we have a few birthday situations listed to help you narrow your budget down. Please consider the category that is closest to your situation, and adjust as your intuition guides you.

Weddings

Weddings are a special opportunity for gift giving. There are many ways to help out a new couple as they begin to put their new lives together, and gifts are an important part of that.

Plus, weddings are a great opportunity for the happy couple to let everyone in their wedding party know how much they are loved and appreciated.

Weddings are also big-budget events. There may be some confusion about what is expected. To help make this wedding season a little easier, consider these wedding gift spending suggestions.

How Much to Spend on Bridal Shower Gifts

Are you new to bridal showers? Don’t stress. Gift giving for a bridal shower is not much different than giving for a birthday.

Consider how close you are to the bride. Closest friends and family may feel inclined to spend a little more, while more distant friends and family may keep their expectations a little lower.

For a bridal shower, we recommend spending $30-50.

This can be a little more if you are family or very close friends. Maybe you have something special in mind that you know she’ll love.

Click Here some great bridal shower party ideas!

How Much to Spend on Wedding Gifts

As a guest, it is a privilege to be a witness to the new couple’s marriage and give a gift to help them kickstart their lives together.

Depending on how close to the family you are may determine how much you will spend or give (cash gifts will likely be welcome).

For wedding gifts to the bride and groom, we recommend spending around $75. This can be a little less ($50) if you are more distant acquaintance, or a little more ($100+) if you are very close.

You might have the benefit of the bride and groom supplying a Gift Registry. If this is the case, simply check out their wishlist and find something that fits your budget. Easy!

BTW, here are some great wedding gifts for when there is no registry.

How Much to Spend on Wedding Party Gifts

For those getting married (congrats!) the expenses definitely add up. But knowing that your closest friends and family are there for you and supporting you on your big day means the world.

One of the more fun parts of planning your wedding can be figuring out what gifts will let them know what their presence in your life means to you.

But weddings require budgets to keep expenses under control. Total wedding budgets vary greatly. Whatever your total money budget is for you wedding, we recommend setting aside 2%-5% for gifts.

Let’s take a look at gift budget recommendations for members of the wedding party.

Maid of Honor & Best Man

The elite. The crème de la crème. The Maid of Honor and Best Man have done their fair share to see you to this point in your life. Now you have a great opportunity to say “Thank you!”

For your Maid of Honor and Best Man gifts, we recommend a budget of $75-$100.

If you have a large wedding crew, this number could be smaller. If you are having a big and lavish wedding with no expense spared, this number could be bigger.

Also, you will typically spend more on the Maid of Honor and Best Man than the other party members, as we see in our next section.

Bridesmaids & Groomsmen Gifts

This is your A-team. The ones who will keep you in good company and good spirits on your big day.

They will be celebrating you, so make sure you take a moment to celebrate them with lovey bridesmaid gifts!

For your party of bridesmaids and groomsmen, we recommend spending about $40-$75 per person.

Again, if you have an extra large party, this number could be lower. And for a wedding where you are spending a lot on extras, it is probably better to spend more on your closest companions.

Many brides enjoy giving “Will You Be My Bridesmaid” proposal boxes, which average around $25-40. Don’t forget to include those in your wedding budget!

Close Family & Helpers

It is also nice and sometimes expected to give a gift to wedding helpers and close family, especially the parents and grandparents of the bride and groom.

For close family and helpers, we recommend a budget of $15-$30.

Parents and grandparents may receive a personalized gift, such as a framed photo or a bottle of their favorite wine.

Extended family and helpers may receive something less personal and expensive, such as jewelry or a book. These are thoughtful gestures that go a long way to show your appreciation.

Wedding Favors for Other Attendees

Sometimes the extended family and other attendees may receive a parting gift to remember the occasion by.

This can be a simple souvenir, such as a candles, customized bottle openers, or bath bombs.

For wedding favor gifts to the attendees of your wedding, consider a small budget of around $5 or less.

A small gesture to say “thank you for coming” is a nice bonus for those who took time out of their schedules to celebrate your union with you.

How Much to Spend on Baby Shower Gifts

Baby showers are tons of fun. You get the family together for food and games, see a bunch of cute outfits, and let the mommy know how welcome her baby is in this world!

How much you want to spend on a baby shower gift (and how many gifts you give) will depend a couple things: How close are you to the mom, and how much will you be involved in the baby’s life?

For baby shower gifts we recommend spending $35-$50. This may be a bit less, or generously more, depending on how close you are to the mom and dad.

If you are the grandparent-to-be, you may be able to give more freely to make sure baby has everything he needs. Plus, you have the experience to know that Baby doesn’t need 20 pairs of newborn-sized fashion pants.

Extended family and more distant friends may spend less and give fewer items.

Hopefully, Mom and Dad have put together some baby gift registries for you to browse. That way, you can find the perfect item or items to fit your budget.

More: Baby Shower Gift Amount Etiquette

How Much to Spend on Graduation Gifts

When graduation season roles around each spring, you can hopefully expect some ceremony invites.

Twelve years (and at least four more for college) of work for a certificate is nothing to squint at, and we should take the time and resources to properly congratulate the graduates in our lives.

Even if you can’t attend the ceremony, sending a gift to the graduate is a kind gesture. If you send cash, that start-up money will certainly be appreciated!

High School Graduation

Graduates are going through one of the few initiation ceremonies we have for young people entering into society. Your gift is a way to say “You belong” and help them take their first steps.

For Grads whose ceremonies you cannot (or would rather not) attend, we recommend a gift of $25-$50.

If you are close to the graduate, such as immediate family, we suggest you increase your gift to $50-$100.

College Graduation

Typically, gift budgets for grads go up as degrees become more advanced.

There are usually fewer people giving gifts, and the accomplishment is bigger. But the graduate’s living expenses and debt obligations are bigger too.

For college grads, we recommend a gift of $50-$100. You may wish to give more for advanced degrees, or less if you are not closely associated with the graduate.

While these recommendations are “typical,” you may rest assured that any graduate will be grateful for any gift you freely give.

Gift Budgeting for Other Occasions

Hopefully, we have clarified and demystified your gift budget worries and woes so far. It’s always good to know that you are able to give a gift that is both within your budget and somewhere near other’s expectations.

We also hope that you were able to receive some general gift-giving and budgeting principles from us. Let’s take a moment to remind ourselves: giving gifts comes out of your own free will and good intentions.

There is never a need to overextend yourself beyond your financial ability. And helping friends out with an above-and-beyond gift can sometimes be an incredible blessing.

Now, let’s take a quick look at some other occasions for gift-giving. From the holidays that recur every year to those rare events when you need to make it count, here are some suggestions for spending.

How Much to Spend on Anniversary Gifts

For anniversaries of your own marriage, it is important to discuss expectations with your spouse early on. If you have already set some expectations with previous years’ gifts, a sudden change without any warning might bring confusion.

For your own wedding anniversary, we recommend a gift budget of around $100. For giving to others on their anniversaries, such as your parents milestone anniversaries, we recommend a gift of $25-$50.

Related: Anniversary Gifts By Year: Your Guide to the Perfect Gift, Every Year

How Much to Spend on Valentine’s Day

Are you a man who is confused as to why your wife was upset last February 15th? No worries, we’re here to help!

Valentine’s Day gift-giving will always vary depending on your income and how serious the relationship currently is. Typically, for Valentine’s Day gifts we recommend a budget of around $25-$50.

We consider this a good starting point, unless otherwise decided by you and your partner.

Your cost may be as simple as giving a small potted succulent. Or as opulent as a full night out, plus a gift. Whatever you do, definitely don’t do nothing!

For some sweet gifts, check out these 40 best gifts for your sweetheart. Running behind? Then you’ll want to look at these last-minute gifts for Valentine’s Day.

How Much to Spend on Mother’s Day Gifts

For the moms we’re lucky to have, a token of appreciation every now and then is the least we can do.

For Mother’s Day, consider a budget of $20-$40. And that gift will go nicely with some quality family time.

How Much to Spend on Father’s Day Gifts

Similarly, Father’s day is a great occasion to get the family together for a good time. For Father’s Day gifts, we recommend a gift budget of $20-$40.

We also recommend a backyard barbecue with Dad manning the grill. Or one of these great Father’s Day gift ideas.

How Much to Spend on Retirement Gifts

Retirements come only once, maybe twice in a lifetime. For this reason, the special occasion merits a gift. Especially if you are close to the retiree.

For a retirement gift, we recommend spending $50-$100, depending on your means and how close you are to the retiree.

If you and your coworkers are pulling together funds for a retirement gift, it is expected to give $5-$20 per person.

Related: 50 Perfect Retirement Gifts That Retirees Actually Love

How Much to Spend on Sympathy Gifts

When someone you know enters into a difficult time in their lives, you have the opportunity to bless them. If possible, you may have a share in lightening their load just a bit.

With sympathy gifts, it is important to remember that it is the thought and gesture that counts the most.

With that in mind, for sympathy gifts it is recommended that you budget around $50-$75. This is especially true for events such as funerals, where floral arrangement gifts are traditional.

Other situations may allow for smaller budgets.

Find the perfect gift: Heartwarming Sympathy Gifts for a Grieving Friend

How Much to Spend on Housewarming Gifts

Moving to a new place can be a big milestone event in life. Especially for a first-time real estate purchase.

Housewarming gifts help create a sense of welcome and acceptance in a new place. It takes a lot to make a house a home. Your gift will go along way to nurturing that feeling of ease.

For a housewarming gift, we recommend spending $25-$50. We would tailor this down a bit if your friends are frequent-movers, or already have most of what they need from their past residences.

More: 21 Best Housewarming Gifts (That They Will Actually Use)

Finding Your Perfect Gift Budget

Now you have a good idea about how much to spend on gifts. Our gift budget guide is intended to set some basic perimeters for the curious and confused.

We hope you found our recommendations helpful!

If you find your intuition steers you a little outside our recommendations, then follow that instinct. We know everyone’s circumstances are different, and only you know your situation.

How to Celebrate Without Spending (Hardly Anything)

Maybe you’re a college student that is really strapped for cash. Or perhaps you’re a newly married couple without so much as two nickels to rub together after the wedding?

If this sounds like your situation — or something close — then this next section is especially for you!

There are so many ways to celebrate your friends and family at the holidays or for birthdays without going out and spending X amount of money on a gift.

If you find yourself with little to no room in the budget for gifts because of your current financial situation, then consider one of these equally great ideas.

Host a Dinner Party

This one is great because it’s so easy to tailor to your wallet.

Really tight? Pick up a couple packages of hot dogs, buns, chips, and baked beans and host a BBQ! Everyone loves a good BBQ.

Have a little more wiggle room in the food budget? How about a classic pot roast dinner?

Pick up a nice roast at the butcher’s and throw it in the crockpot with household staples like potatoes, carrots, peas, or whatever other veggies you have on hand.

We love this one because other than the meat, most of the ingredients are things you’d have on hand. But it smells so good, is so satisfying, and seems like a really expensive meal.

Plan a “Tea Time” or At-Home Beverage Date

You can make this idea so special and tailor it to whomever you’re celebrating.

Focus on celebrating your relationship with good conversation, some tasty snacks, and have a sweet, intimate time together over your favorite beverage.

For a “Tea Time” theme, make some simple (but delicious) finger foods like cucumber sandwiches, tea cakes, cookies or bars, and brew a pot of their favorite tea.

You can go as all-out as you want, or keep it simple.

A close friend did this for my birthday last year with a “wine and cheeses” theme, and it was my favorite gift and a memory I’ll cherish.

Some other themes to consider:

• Coffee & Chocolate
• Wine & Charcuterie
• Whiskey & Nuts
• Milkshakes & Fries
• Hot Chocolate & Cookies
• Margaritas & Tacos
• Vodka & Smoked Fish

This is perfect for close friends or significant others because you’ll be more clued in to their music tastes.

It’s a thoughtful, sweet, personalized gift, and all you need is a USB, CD, cassette (if you wanna go old-school), or you can even just create it digitally on whichever music platform they use.

Title it with something special or with an inside joke for the icing on the cake!

DIY Projects

Get down with your crafty self and make them something special! There are so many neat things you can make them at little or no cost.

A few ideas:

• Knit them a hat or scarf (you can find yarn for as little as $2-3 per skein)
• Make them earrings or a friendship bracelet
• Put together a picture collage
• Paint or draw a picture for them
• Build something they’d love (birdhouse, charge station, lap desk, etc.)
• String art

These string art creations are so neat and are relatively easy to make (speaking from experience). What you need most is just patience.

Pick a theme that suits them and their interests, and string away!

For more great DIY and money saving gift ideas check out this great article:
Homemade Gifts: Ideas & Etiquette for Used Gifts, DIY & More

Lastly, remember that you are here because you want to give a gift to the people you care about. Embrace that spirit of generosity and personal kindness, and your gift will go far.

Happy gifting!

Read Next: Complete List of Gifting Holidays

The post The Ultimate Gift Budget Guide: How Much to Spend on Gifts appeared first on All Gifts Considered.

But weddings are more than just cake and flowers; they’re crazy, beautiful adventures, and our wishes should reflect that, right? We certainly think so. 

Picture this: We’re not just aiming for a ‘congrats’ here; far from it. We’re ditching tired clichés and crafting well-wishes that resonate with the true love, shared laughter, and unique quirks that make the happy couple, well, them. 

A little tip right up front: If you want to make your wishes special, be sure to allow enough time. Personally, I know that every time I sit down to write out a wedding card, it takes me at least ten minutes to decide what I want to say. So, be proactive, and maybe don’t wait until you’re walking out the door to the ceremony.

Now — that being said — you don’t have to write a novel in their card. But you do want it to be heartfelt, however long or short.

Whether you plan on channeling your inner poet, comedian, or philosopher, your job is finding the right words to capture the essence of their new journey together. And, of course, to help them celebrate the lifetime of love which lies ahead.

So, grab a comfy seat and a cup of your favorite brew, and let’s cook up some wedding wishes that are as special and one-of-a-kind as the love story we’re toasting to. Ready for a ride through the heartfelt, the humorous, and the offbeat? Just sit tight; we’ve got all your bases covered. 

JUMP TO:
What to Write in a Wedding Card
Short Wedding Wishes
Wedding Day Congratulations
Wedding Wishes for a Friend
Best Wishes for Wedding Couples
Wedding Wishes for Sister
Wedding Wishes for Brother
Wedding Wishes for a Colleague
Funny Wedding Wishes
Wishes for Marriage Blessing
Wedding Wishes Images & Captions to Share

What to Write in a Wedding Card?

So what is a good message for a wedding card? Something simple and sweet, but ever so heartfelt is a great start! Whether you’re close friends and have known the couple for years, or only just met through your third cousin twice removed, tailor your handwritten message accordingly. 

For some expert insight on this topic, we asked Abhi Madan, Co-Founder and Creative Director of wedding and special occasion design house Amarra:

“Writing in a card involves [more] thought. Start with their names and a warm congratulations. Express your happiness for them and, most importantly, base it on your relationship with them, such as ‘Your love inspires me’ or ‘I am thrilled to witness your journey.’ An absolute ‘no’ would be speculating about future potential issues, like ‘hope you survive the in-laws.’

If you can’t attend the wedding, it’s essential to reassure the couple that your thoughts are with them: ‘Though I can’t be there physically, my heart celebrates this beautiful journey with you.’ Always sign off warmly. Remember, the goal is to provide comfort and joy.”

As you craft your sentiments, here’s a basic outline that you can personalize:

• Address the couple by their names (not just the one you know)
• Offer heartfelt congratulations
• Add a personal touch:
  • Advice or words of wisdom
  • Hopes for their new life together
  • Blessings
  • Scripture verses or other quotations
  • Special memories or stories
  • A description of your “I’m happy for you” emotions
• Don’t forget to sign!

Best Wedding Wishes

Toast to joyous beginnings, laughter-filled days, and a lifetime of shared adventures with these carefully curated wishes.

Whether you’re seeking heartfelt warmth, a touch of humor, or poetic elegance, our collection has the perfect sentiment for every couple’s special day. 

Short Wedding Wishes

Want to keep it short and sweet? You got it. Below we have the best ways to do so.

1. May your love burn brightly forever!

2. Happiest of days to the sweetest of couples.

3. We love married life and know you will, too!

4. We’re raising a glass to you two!

5. Here’s to a lifetime of wedded bliss.

6. May your years be blessed. 

7. Warmest wishes to you both on this special occasion.

8. Thank you for letting us be a part of your big day.

9. Hugs and kisses from us to you!

10. Life is better with someone by your side.

11. Tons of love for you today and always.

12. Love looks really great on the two of you.

13. It is a privilege to be part of your special day — congratulations!

14. Congratulations to the new Mr. and Mrs. 

15. First comes love, then comes marriage.

16. Happy day, my loves!

17. Congratulations on this new chapter of your story.

18. You make love look easy!

19. Congrats to the most perfect match!

20. What a day! Thanks for letting me share it with you.

Wedding Day Congratulations

For day-of “congrats” either verbal or in writing, we love these wedding messages.

21. Today is the beginning of forever. Happy wedding day!

22. I couldn’t dream up a lovelier day — congrats to my favorite pair of lovebirds!

23. Congratulations…on making me tear up! “Hear, hear” to the cutest couple in the world.

24. It’s your big day — congratulations and many well wishes!

25. Best wishes on such a beautiful union.

26. May the two of you continue to love unconditionally.Congratulations!

27. You did it! Congratulations, compliments, felicitations, and many happy returns! 

28. Your smiles are so bright today that they light up the whole room.

29. Months of planning resulted in a splendid day — xoxo!

30. Congratulations, to the new Mr. and Mrs! A lifetime of joy to you both!

31. You may kiss the bride! Congratulations and enjoy.

32. You two crazy cats did it! Wishing a happy life to you both.

33. The love you two share is evident to all. And now? Time to celebrate!

34. What a memory you two have made today — congratulations!

35. The day you’ve been waiting for is finally here. Congratulations!

36. Congratulations on this milestone in your adventure together!

37. You two are cutest when you’re side by side. Congrats!

38. You did it, you did it, you did it! I’m so happy for you both. You’ve each picked out a winner.

39. Together, may you experience beyond your imagination.

40. I couldn’t have done it better myself — way to go and happy wedding day!

Wedding Wishes for a Friend

It’s totally okay to include a line to your close friend but remember that this is part of the overall wedding message to both them and their new spouse.

Here are some ideas on what to say to your dear friend on their special day.

41. If I have to share you, I’m glad it’s with your new husband/wife! I guess. But you’re still my best friend.

42. Congratulations! Love, your favorite third wheel. 

43. I’m so proud of the man/woman you’ve become! And husband/wife, you are luckier than you know.

44. Thanks for inviting me to the best party ever! Oops, I meant your wedding. Congratulations!

45. I’ve been waiting for this day for forever! I’m rejoicing for the two of you that this day has finally arrived. You both have all my love.

46. Can’t wait to toast to you every anniversary for many years to come!

47. I couldn’t be prouder if I married you myself.

48. Congratulations and good luck to you both! I’m not crying, you’re crying!

49. So happy to have been a part of this monumental day!

50. Best wishes for a lifetime of happiness to the bestest of friends.

Best Wishes for Wedding Couples

Let the newly married couple know just how much you love them, are inspired by them, and are, of course, rooting for them. 

51. You did it! I’m so inspired that I might just try this marriage thing myself.

52. Can’t wait to see where life takes you both!

53. You two make the most pulchritudinous couple! (Look it up…)

54. I just have one thing to say: finally!

55. Congratulations to the most lovely couple, and best wishes for your years together.

56. I’m so excited to see where this adventure takes you!

57. Giddy with happiness for the both of you!

58. Congratulations and best wishes to a very inspiring and much-loved couple!

59. I never thought soulmates were a thing until I saw you together. What a great way to prove true love exists!

60. You two go together like peanut butter and chocolate!

Here are 100+ more “go together like…” quotes to further inspire your wedding wishes.

Lovely Love Fact:

The longest marriage, according to the Guinness World Records, lasted 86 years and 290 days. Zelmyra and Herbert Fisher were married in 1924 when they were 16 and 18 respectively.

DailyCitizen

Wedding Wishes for Sister

Sisters are so special, and if you want to give her a separate note of congrats on her new spouse and warmest wishes (or a decent dose of teasing), we love these messages.

61. If I have to share you with someone, I will begrudgingly take him/her.

62. Congratulations! Too bad sleepovers are gonna be awkward now, though.

63. It’s your day, Sister! I’m so proud of you and the woman you’ve become.

64. I’m not crying, you’re crying.

65. We’ve been planning this day for decades — I’m so happy to see it come true!

66. You got yourself a good one, Sis! 

67. I’m not one to be all mushy romantic, but OMG LOVE IS THE BEST!

68. To the sister who has always wanted the best for me — you deserve so much joy and love! Today especially.

69. You’re the most beautiful bride that I’ve ever seen. May you continue to glow throughout your married life!

70. I’ve never been more proud (or cried harder)! Congratulations, Sis!

Wedding Wishes for Brother

Brothers are one-of-a-kind, are they not? Some are serious and protective, others are total goofballs. Others still are a great mix of the two!

Here are some one-of-a-kind wishes for your Bro on his big day.

71. Hey, who knew you cleaned up so well? Congratulations!

72. What a beautiful celebration! So proud to call you my brother, and wishing you all the best.

73. Woah, who is that resplendent and stunningly good-looking man standing at the altar? IT’S MY BROTHER, THAT’S WHO!

74. Congratulations to the handsome groom, from the far more handsome brother.

75. Way to go, bro! I guess you had some rizz, after all. Thanks for the new family member!

76. You’re so much less embarrassing to be seen with now that you have a gorgeous wife.

77. I’m proud of the man you’ve become, Brother! I know you’ll take good care of her.

78. She got herself a good man. Congratulations!

79. Best wishes for many years of wedded bliss to come, Bro!

80. I remember when we were small — now look at you! Standing at the altar and everything! 

Wedding Wishes for a Colleague

The day has come and that work bestie is finally tying the knot! If you want to congratulate them well, we suggest wedding wishes somewhere along these lines.

81. Lots of love and warm wishes to a man/woman I admire so much!

82. It’s been inspiring and wonderful to be a small part of your love story.

83. Congratulations! You will be at the office tomorrow, right?

84. Best wishes to a lovely couple! This is a day you’ll always remember, so soak in every moment!

85. What a wonderful day! Couldn’t have happened to a nicer couple. 

86. Congratulations, you two sweet things!

87. What a perfect ceremony — thank you for letting me be part of your special day. 

88. I am looking forward to witnessing your marriage and the joy that comes from it!

89. I love a good reason to have cake, so thanks for falling in love!

90. Best wishes to my favorite coworker ever.

Neat Nuptial Nugget:

The largest wedding on record was that of V.N. Sudhakaran and N. Sathyalakshmi whose reception hosted 150,000 people in India in 1995.

https://www.prestigeonline.com

Funny Wedding Wishes

If you’d rather make them laugh than cry, we love these witty one-liners and hilarious messages.

91. Still can’t believe she said yes. 

92. You make love look…well, kinda gross actually. Y’all are so adorable it’s a little nauseating. I’d better go drink some more of your wine to settle my stomach.

93. Ewwwww, romance. Well, if it works for you two…

94. Marriage is basically just yelling “WHAT?” from different rooms of the house until one of you dies. Have fun, you two!

95. I’m so happy that you two found each other. You know, instead of other things like drugs or booze.

96. What an emotional day! Even the cake is in tiers.

97. Looks like the King of Hearts has married his Queen of Hearts. You’re perfectly suited for each other!

98. “To keep your marriage brimming with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.” — Ogden Nash

99. I’m just here for the cake.

Wishes for Marriage Blessing

Weddings call for blessings, and it’s an age-old tradition to do so. These blessings double as the perfect wedding wishes.

100.”May the meaning of this hour be fulfilled through the days and years to come. May the love of this man and this woman, their unity of spirit, grow deeper and stronger in the uncertainties and changes of life they will share. Loving each other, may they love all persons. Trusting each other, may they learn to trust life.” — Traditional Irish Wedding Blessing 

101. May the Lord bless you and keep you, make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you, lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace…as long as you both shall live!

Wedding Wishes Images & Captions to Share

Wedding Card Etiquette

Bring the card to the wedding. It’s a faux pas for sure to show up to a wedding without a gift. If your card is the gift, be sure to include a check (not cash, since a check can be traced but if cash gets stolen, that’s it) and place it in the designated location for cards.

If you can’t attend the wedding, mail a card. You can do this anytime after receiving the invitation up to a month after the big day. Don’t focus on why you can’t attend, just congratulate the happy couple and wish them well!

Address the wedding card to both people. Don’t make the mistake of only addressing your card to the one person you know. Be sure to say “Jim and Pam” or “To the newlyweds.”

Write a personal note. Don’t just ink in your name after the pre-printed message! Add your own wedding wishes to make it meaningful. Keep it short, but from the heart. See above!

Use humor sparingly. Especially the jaded, caustic brand of “ball and chain” jesting. Avoid divorce jokes completely. This is a happy day to celebrate the beauty of the couple’s relationship and great hopes for their future.

Express congratulations. That’s the main point! You could also include any combination of words of wisdom, hopes for their future together, blessings, Scripture verses, romantic quotes, memories, descriptions of your joyful feelings, and more. But the main thing is to wish them well and congratulate them.

Sign your name. Make it legible enough to read!

Read Next: 50 Best Wedding Gift Ideas

The post 101 Best Wedding Wishes, Messages & Congratulations appeared first on All Gifts Considered.

Whether you’re a seasoned connoisseur or just enjoy a casual sip, you’ll find that the world of wine is not only about swirling and sipping, but also about some seriously entertaining and thought-provoking quotes. Waxing philosophical and all that.

Join us as we pop the cork on a bottle of linguistic joy, exploring quotes that capture the essence of wine, from the hilarious musings of modern enthusiasts to the poetic reflections of those who’ve been raising a glass for centuries.

At Northwest Gifts, some of our most enduringly popular items are from our Wine Décor collection, and we also love customizing our premium personalized glassware for your home bar, wedding, or gift-giving needs.

Due to or familiarity with the world of wine, it should be no surprise that we’ve come across plenty of inspirational, fun, and classy wine quotes.

Grab your favorite glass, because we’re about to embark on a journey through the vineyard of wit and wisdom, where the nectar of the gods meets the art of language.

Below we’ve selected 20+ of the most classy wine quotes of all time in attractive fonts for you to share and showcase your love of wine. Perhaps you will even be inspired to add some of these to your own home bar décor. Enjoy!

JUMP TO:

Top Wine quotes
Quotes About Wine and Friends
Love and Wine Quotes
Funny Wine Quotes

Top Twenty Wine Quotes

From the profound to the downright hilarious, the world of wine quotes is a treasure trove of insights that resonate with enthusiasts and connoisseurs alike.

So, grab a glass and get ready to toast to the top 20 best wine quotes that encapsulate the spirit, humor, and timeless charm of great wine. 

1. Better With Time

Love, like wine, gets better with time.

2. Bottled Poetry

Wine is bottled poetry.
Robert Louis Stevenson

3. Great Blend

Wine & friends are a great blend.
Ernest Hemingway

Related gift ideas: 100 of the Best Gifts for Friends

4. Everything Old

I love everything that is old; old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wines.
Oliver Goldsmith, The Vicar of Wakefield

5. Hidden Secrets

Wine brings to light the hidden secrets of the soul.
Horace

6. Wine as an Object

Wine is not just an object of pleasure, but an object of knowledge; and the pleasure depends on the knowledge.
Roger Scruton

7. A Lifestyle of Wine

Wine is a lifestyle.

8. Connoisseur

The connoisseur does not drink wine but tastes of its secrets.
Salvador Dali

9. Elixir of Life

Wine is, perhaps, the closest thing the planet has to an elixir of life.
Thom Elkjer

10. Sunlight Held Together by Water

Wine is sunlight held together by water.
Galileo

11. Four Things

Age appears best in four things: Old wood to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust and old authors to read.
Francis Bacon

12. Footloose Upon the Earth

Now is the time for drinking, now is the time to dance footloose upon the earth.
Horace

13. Friends & Wine

Friends and wine… the older, the better.

14. Passport

Wine is a passport to the world.
Thom Elkjer

15. The Civilized Thing

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world.
Ernest Hemingway

16. The Whole Bottle

All wines should be tasted. Some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.
Paulo Coelho

17. This Home

This home runs on love, laughter, and really good wine.

18. Made By God

Beer is made by men, wine by God.
Martin Luther

Related: Wine of the Month Club Review & Unboxing

19. The Best Wines, Together

The best wines are the ones we drink together.

20. The Solution

According to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.

Quotes About Wine and Friends

Like a well-aged Cabernet, the camaraderie among companions who have weathered the storms of life takes on a depth that only years of shared experiences can impart.

In this section, we pour ourselves into the heartwarming elixir of fine wine and friendship. Picture those evenings when the clink of glasses not only resonates through the room but also evokes a symphony of shared tales, inside jokes, and the silent understanding that only old friends can share.

As with Wine…

“As in the case of wines that improve with age, the oldest friendships ought to be the most delightful.” — Marcus Tullius Cicero

Friends and Wine

“What though youth gave love and roses, age still leaves us friends and wine.”
— Thomas Moore

Prized Vintage

“If friendship was wine, you’d be the most prized vintage.” — Unknown

Take Counsel

“Take counsel in wine and good friends, but resolve afterwards in water.”
— Benjamin Franklin

Wine, Cheese, & Friends Stemless Glasses

What better way to celebrate your love of wine and friendship than with a beautiful pair of stemless wine glasses? Keep one for yourself and gift the other to your favorite partner in wine.

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Wine About It

“Some days you just need to grab a good friend and a favorite vintage, and wine about life for a while.” — Unknown

Cheese, Wine, & Friends

“Cheese, wine, and friends must be old to be good.” — Cuban Proverb

Pour a Glass

“Pilates class?! I thought you said pour a glass…” — Unknown

Read Next: 21 Best Coasters for Gifting (or for yourself)

Love and Wine Quotes

Alright, buckle up for a ride through the lovey-dovey stuff, the romantic wine quotes — where good wine meets good company, and hearts skip a beat or two.

We’re not talking about snooty tastings; we’re diving into the kind of love that pairs perfectly with a good vintage and the even better company of your favorite person.

Here’s to the heart of man, unfiltered and uncorked, finding its rhythm in the delightful chaos of laughter, shared stories, and, of course, a bottle (or two) of vino.

All Mortals

“We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine.”
— Eduardo Galeano

Wine and Sighs

“Wine enters through the mouth,
Love, the eyes.
I raise the glass to my mouth,
I look at you,
and I sigh.”
— William Butler Yeats

Like Good Wine

“May our love be like good wine, growing stronger as it grows older.” — English Toast

Love Goes Hungry

“Without bread and wine, love goes hungry.” — Latin Proverb

To Fall in Love, Drink This: A Wine Writer's Memoir

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11/16/2024 05:30 pm GMT

Vows Made in Wine

“I pray you do not fall in love with me, for I am falser than vows made in wine.” — William Shakespeare

Allies

“It warms the blood, adds luster to the eyes, and wine and love have ever been allies.” — Ovid

Its Own Grapes

“What I do and what I dream include thee, as the wine must taste of its own grapes.” — Elizabeth Barrett Browning

No Wine, No Love

“Where there is no wine, there is no love.” — Euripides

Funny Wine Quotes

In the world of vino, laughter flows as freely as the libation itself. So, get ready to raise your glass and unleash your inner sommelier of humor as we dive into the top funny wine quotes that will have you sipping and snickering in equal measure.

Cooking with wine…

“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” — W.C. Fields

A Rosy Future

“Nothing makes the future look so rosy as to contemplate it through a glass of Chambertin.” — Napoleon Bonapart

Just a Number

“Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.” — Joan Collins

Wine, Poetry, or Virtue?

“One should always be drunk. That’s all that matters…But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk.” — Charles Baudelaire

Life’s Pleasures

“Drinking good wine with good food in good company is one of life’s most civilized pleasures.” — Michael Broadbent

Siko Burlap Wine Bags

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11/16/2024 05:29 pm GMT

It’s Time

“I shall drink no wine before it’s time! Okay, it’s time.” — Groucho Marx

Eloquence

“A man will be eloquent if you give him good wine.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Cures vs Happiness

“Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy.” — Alexander Fleming

Regrets

“My only regret in life is that I did not drink more wine.” — Ernest Hemingway

The post The 20+ Most Classy Wine Quotes of All Time appeared first on All Gifts Considered.

It’s up to you, but you can guess what we recommend.

If you make a card yourself, not only does it give the card that extra-special feel, but they might actually think you came up with the quote on your own. 

We’ll let them think that; no need to spoil a good thing. And you obviously need all the help you can get.

Just kidding…

Kind of.

Anyways, we tallied up these funny birthday wishes, and realized we had over one hundred of them! You’re welcome to count them for yourself, but there are a lot of them, and they’re all golden. Be inspired!

Also, note that these are all pretty clean. Mostly G, a few PG. A few jokes about butts, getting drunk, mild insults, old people body humor, that sort of thing.

We like to keep it 90-95% family-friendly with nothing overly suggestive or obscene. It’s all a matter of opinion, of course, but these are generally PG or under.

So without further ado, here are 100+ hilariously funny birthday quote ideas for DIY cards.

Our website is supported by our users. We sometimes earn a commission when you click through the affiliate links on our website. See our privacy policy & disclosures for more information.

100+ Funny Birthday Card Quotes

So, what to write in a funny birthday card? Here’s what we’ve got for you, sorted into easy-to-navigate categories:

Anyone, Anytime — Funny birthday wishes for your friends, family members, significant others, you name it. And at any stage of life, young or old.

Art Puns — With a bit of basic art skills, you can use these quotes and ideas to create a truly punny and great birthday card for their big day.

Old Age — You know, old people jokes. Making fun of getting older. Perfect for your old man or that best friend that just trekked over the hill.

Let’s Get Smashed — Self-explanatory, but I’ll explain it anyways: Funny birthday messages about  celebratory beverages and the quantity thereof.

Heartwarming — By which we mean “heartwarming,” with rather heavy air quotes.

DIY Card Ideas & Supplies — Sure, you have some funny things to say in a birthday card now, but do you have something to write them on? Yeah, that’s what we thought.

Anyone, Anytime — DIY Funny Birthday Cards

Here are some guffaw-inducing birthday card quotes and best wishes for just about anyone at any season of their life.

Great for a good laugh, or potentially a sneer and a “Really?” from the recipient. If you came here wondering what to write in a funny birthday card, you’re in the right place.

1. Nothing Butt the Best

Wishing you nothing butt the best… Happy Birthday!

2. Two Tips

“I have two tips for you on your birthday. 1) Forget the past, you can’t change it. 2) Forget the present, I didn’t get you one.”

3.  Scientifically Proven

It’s been scientifically proven that those who have more birthdays live longer.

4. Walk Through Fire

I’d walk through fire for you. Well, not fire, because it’s dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair.  

5.  Famous People

There were a lot of famous people born on your birthday. Inside: Too bad you’re not one of them.

6. This One

What’s a birthday card without money inside? Inside: This one.

7. # Five

Four out of five people get money in their birthday cards. Inside: Happy birthday from #5!

Find it here.

8. Assassins

Happy Birthday! Here’s to another year of successfully evading my assassins. 

9. No Money

There’s Absolutely No Money in This Card  

10. Cake…

I’m just here for the cake.  

11. If You Lick the Frosting

If you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin, and muffins are healthy.  

Find it here.

12. Birthdays are Good for You

Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.  

13. Mmmm K?

Yeaahhhh… I just wanted to say happy birthday, and if you can come into work that would great. Mmm K.

Related Article: 21 Awesome Employee Gifts for Your Small Business 

14.  Rubber Sack of My Breath

Balloons are so weird. “Happy Birthday, here’s a rubber sack of my breath!”

15. Escape from the Womb

It’s the anniversary of your daring and clever escape from the womb!

16. Get Out of the Mailbox!

I wanted to send you something (sexy, incredible, awesome, amazing, etc.) but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox.

17. Questionable Decisions

It’s your birthday! Let’s party and make questionable decisions.  

18. Only Present You Need

Knowing someone as awesome as me should be the only present you need.  

19. Tolerate 

Happy Birthday to one of the few people I can actually tolerate on a daily basis.

20. It’s Today?!

Your birthday is today?! Inside: Falsehood. Today is the anniversary of your birthday.

21. Oldest You’ve Ever Been

Today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be again. 

22. Rusty

You’re not old, just a little rusty. Happy Birthday.

23. Idiot Card 

To Do List: Give birthday card to idiot  

24. I Really Hope…

I really hope you like this gift that you specifically told me to buy for you.

25. Entire Birthday Cake

While you were reading this card I ate your entire birthday cake.  

26. Also Your Present

This is more than a birthday card. Inside: It is also your present.

You May Also Enjoy: Happy Belated Birthday- What to Do & Say When You’ve Blown It

27. Celebrate Your Existence 

Let us celebrate your existence with cake. And possibly ice cream. And maybe balloons.

28. Buttloads

Have Buttloads of Fun On Your Birthday!

Art Puns — DIY Funny Birthday Cards

These funny happy birthday messages require just a bit of basic artwork. If you have decent drawing skills, use them to create your own humorous greeting card!

29. Succ Cards

(Succulents) I hope your birthday doesn’t succ.

30. Melon

(Watermelon slice) You’re one in a melon!

31. Beer-thday

(Beer) Happy Beer-thday!  

32. Little Pea

(Cute little pea) Hap-pea birthday!  

33. Sherbert Day

(Ice cream cone) Go Shawty! It’s Sherbert Day!

34. Herds 

(Cows) Herd it’s your birthday…

35. Duh. Duh. DUUUH

(Grim Reaper) See you soon!

36. On Point!

(Cactus) I hope your birthday is on point!

37. In Dog Years…

(Dog) In dog years you would be dead!

38. Eggcellent

(Eggs) I hope your birthday is eggcellent.

39. Wine Years

(Wine) In wine years you are extra fine.  

Related Article: 21st Birthday Gift Ideas for Making Memories

40. Oranges

(Orange) Orange you glad it’s your birthday!

41. Cheesy 

(Cheese) I got you this cheesy birthday card…  

42. Another Year

Another Year Closer.

43.What is Age?

(Elephant) Age is irr-elephant.  

44. Espresso 

(Coffee mug) Words cannot espresso how much you mean to me.  

45. Main Squeeze

(Lemon) Happy birthday to my main squeeze!

46. Lettuce Together

(Lettuce) Lettuce celebrate your birthday!  

47. Carrots

(Carrot) You are old, but I don’t carrot all!  

48. Piece of Me

(Cake with boxing gloves) You wanna piece of me?!

49. Ribbit Ribbit

(Frog) Hoppy birthday!

50. Fans

(Fan) Have a fan-tastic birthday!

51. Tea

(Tea cup) Happy birthday, best-tea!  

52. Aged Cheese

(Cheese) You’re aged to perfection.  

53. Pop Pop

(Popcorn) I hope your birthday is poppin’!

Because puns obviously go with practical things: 10 Practical Gifts (That People Actually Love)

Old Age — DIY Funny Birthday Cards

These are the funny happy birthday wishes you use for anyone who is getting up there in years. Or just that middle age good friend who seems a little more achy than they used to be…

Perfect for your crotchety old grandpa who happens to be the birthday boy, or for your fun aunt who is nearing retirement. Or for basically anyone over twenty-one.

If you’re looking for age-related funny things to write in a birthday card, you’ve just found a treasure trove.

55. Feel Bad

I’m not going to make any age jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.

56. Not Saying

Look, I’m not saying you are old… but if you were milk, I’d sniff you first.

I got you this card because it matches your hair.

57. Again?

Happy “30th” birthday! Inside: Again…

Related Article: 30th Birthday Gifts Ideas for Her, for Him, & for Fun

58. Another Lie

Happy 29th birthday! Inside: From your 110lb friend.

Related Article: 10 Best Gifts for 20 Year Olds

59. Hangovers

Your hangovers are About to get so much worse.

60. Should be Illegal

It Should be Illegal to Look This Good at 69.

Related Article: 60th Birthday Gift Ideas for Women and Men

61. Even More Lies

In this card, I’m going to share the secret to staying young. Inside: Lie about your real age.  

62. Turning 40

Thanks for Turning 40 Before Me!  

You May Also Enjoy: 40th Birthday Gift Ideas for Women, Men, Bff’s, & More

63. Medical Reasons

A very happy birthday to someone who is now taking drugs on their birthday for actual serious medical reasons.

64. Vintage

Mom, Dad, brother, sister… You’re not old, you’re vintage. **wink**

Related: 50th Birthday Gifts for Dads

65. Eat Cake

The more you weigh the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, eat cake. 

66. Candles

You know you’re getting old when the cake isn’t large enough to hold all the birthday candles.

You May Also Enjoy: 70th Birthday Gifts that Are Meaningful & Memorable

67. Cost of Candles

You know you’re old when the candles start costing more than the cake.

Related: 50th Birthday Wishes

68. Being Born 

Congratulations on being born… a really long time ago.  

69. Retro

You’re not old, you’re retro.

70. Dog Years

How old would you even be in dog years…like, 900?

71. Whiskey Years

In whiskey years, you just got more delicious.  

72. Just a Number

Age is just a number. (In your case, a really big one.)  

73. Spoiled Milk

I’m not saying you’re old – I’m just saying that if you were milk I’d smell you before I poured you on my cereal. Just to be safe-ish.

74. Bananas 

The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.  

75. Next Year

At least you aren’t as old as you will be next year.  

76. Handrail 

Congrats on being one year closer to needing a handrail in the shower.  

77. Officially Too Old

You’re officially too old to drop it like it’s hot. So how about you just sit down like it’s warm.  

78. Kinda Old

You are getting kinda old. Inside: It’s ok, I still like you anyways.  

79. New Skills

With old age comes new skills. Inside: You can now cough, laugh, sneeze, and pee yourself all at the same time!

80. Fire Hazard

Your birthday is becoming a serious fire hazard.

81. Smells…

Smells like old people. Inside: Oh wait, that’s you… Happy Birthday!

82. Hair?

It’s Your Birthday, Time to Let Your Hair Down…

Inside: Oh wait! Sorry, for a second I forgot you don’t have any left.

Related: 80th Birthday Gift Guide

Let’s Get Smashed — DIY Funny Birthday Cards

Here are some funny birthday sayings for your drinking buddies and BFFs.

The only thing you need to do is interchange your favorite drink, cocktail, or spirit with almost any of these to perfectly tailor the card to the recipient.

83. Jagerbombs

You know what rhymes with with twenty? Jagerbombs. (Or wine, whiskey, beer, etc.)

84. Extra Fine

In wine years you are an extra fine wine.  

85. Rum Cake

Happy birthday! I was going to bake you a delicious rum cake, but I decided to go with a regular cake. Also, I’m really drunk.  

86. Happy Drunk

Happy drunk! Let’s get birthday.  

87. Best Cure

Wine is the best cure for birthdays.  

88. Glasses

At your age, you need glasses. Inside: Wine glasses.  

P.S. This GREAT product will match perfectly with this card ?

89. Very Close Second

If I had to choose between you and wine, you would be a very close second.  

90. Not Saying…

I’m Not Saying You’re Old But… If You Were Whiskey You Would Be Really Expensive.  

91. Drink Anyways

Happy Birthday! (I was going to drink anyways)  

92. Grain of Salt

Take every birthday with a grain of salt. Inside: This works much better if the salt accompanies a large margarita.

Related: 21 Margarita Gift Ideas

Heartwarming — DIY Funny Birthday Cards

Ahh, love. The love that only siblings or besties can share. If you’re looking for a “heartfelt message” or something “sentimental” and “truly meaningful,” look no further.

If you can share such tender intimacies as these with your true friend or family member, you have a relationship to treasure.

Any one of these hilarious birthday wishes would make for a perfect card for their birthday celebration.

93. Jellyfish

I would pee on a jellyfish sting for you…

94. What More?

You Already Have Me. What More Could You Wish For?

95. Rude

Rude that you are younger than me, but okay…

96. Let’s See…

Ok let’s see how this goes. Pretend you are reading something very personal that I wrote in this card. After a few moments, laugh like I wrote something hilarious. Maybe tip back your head and laugh. You know, really sell it.

Now nod your head as though I wrote something very serious and heartwarming. Hold your hand to your heart and sigh, but don’t overdo it. Now close the card, look at me, and mouth the words, “thank you.”

97. Hardly Annoying

Happy Birthday, little brother/sister!! You’re hardly annoying at all anymore!  

98. So There’s That

You’re still younger than me, so there’s that…

99. Fiancée 

I think me being you Fiancée is enough of a gift.

100. You Mean so Much

Because you mean so much to me I got you this piece of paper that’s folded in half. Inside: I even signed it.  

101. Greatest Sister

Happy birthday to a brother that has the world’s greatest sister! (Or mom/son, dad/daughter, sister/sister, etc.)

102. Good Genes

I’m sorry I got all the good genes. Happy Birthday, Brother! (or sister)

103. No Room

Outside: [Whatever you want… see any of the above quotes] 

Inside: Aww dang! All these words fill up the card and there’s no place for me to write something personal about our friendship.

I was going to write something about that time we did the thing… Golly that was going to be so cool. Maybe I’ll write about it on the back of this card. Yeah, I’m definitely going to do that.

Flip over the card and let’s get the nostalgia started. 

Back: Are you kidding me? There’s not even any space on the back of this card to write something personal?

Sheesh… Hmm. Well, now that I think about it, I probably should have bought a different card with more room to write about just how much you mean to me.  

Read next: How to Give Thoughtful Gifts

DIY Card Ideas & Supplies

So you’ve found the perfect funny birthday quotes for your card, but the fact remains… you don’t actually have a card. Yet.

Check out these DIY card ideas and supplies and you’ll be well on your way to a card that’s just as good as any gift!

10 Pun Cards for Beginners

These funny pun cards are perfect, even if you’re a novice artist. You can apply the same principles to the funny birthday quotes above, too.

Blank Cards

If you plan to be making all of your own cards in the future, then consider investing in a stockpile of blank cards and envelopes like these super affordable ones!

You can have 30 blank canvases to work with (and fill with hilarity) for the cost of a single card at the grocery store. Sounds like a win-win to us.

Paint Pens

These acrylic paint markers will up your card making game in no time! Who knows, maybe you’ve been a Picasso all along and you just didn’t know it?

Origami Card

They’ll be so impressed by your Origami skills, they might forget to laugh at your funny birthday quotes!

Colored Card Stock Paper

Some colorful card stock would be a perfect start to making your one-of-a-kind creation (after you decide what to write in your funny birthday card, of course).

Choose their favorite color for an extra personal touch.

Toilet Paper Roll Card

No card stock or blank cards lying around? No worries. Make ’em a card out of a used TP roll. Genius.

And there you have it! Our compilation of over one hundred funny things to write in a birthday card was pretty stupendous, if we do say so ourselves.

Looking for some fabulous DIY gift ideas, too? We got you…

Read Next: 25 Best DIY Birthday Gifts

The post 100 Hilarious Quote Ideas for Funny DIY Birthday Cards appeared first on All Gifts Considered.

It’s absolutely just right for your person this holiday season (or birthday, anniversary, etc.), but — now that it comes time to wrap it — you’re at a loss.

How to wrap oversized gifts? How do you package up large, odd-shaped presents? What if it’s a guitar, a car, or a simply massive thing-a-ma-bob?

Well, not to worry. At All Gifts Considered, we think through these things so you don’t have to. Toss aside that idea of returning your big-ole present and getting a small gift instead.

Read on for our list of creative ways to package up your oversized presents as well as our large gift wrapping ideas!

We’ll cover a wide range of ideas and gift sizes. Some will involve creative (and potentially super-cheap) do-it-yourself-isms, while other options are specialty gift wrap products designed specifically for your large gifts.

General size ranges include:

• Oversized (large toys and plug-in appliances)
• Extra-Large (carseats, strollers, bicycles, BBQs)
• Crazy Big (cars, kayaks, refrigerators)

We’ll use those terms to describe how big the gift can get, and where possible we’ll include actual physical dimensions.

Ready? Let’s go!

How to Wrap Large Gifts

Alrighty, how to wrap a big box is one question. How to wrap a four foot rubber ducky is another.

But we’re going to look at great ideas for wrapping everything from a massive box to the most oddly shaped and unique gift.

So sit back and scroll through these helpful and creative ideas to find a stress-free, simple solution to wrapping your extra large Christmas gift, birthday gift, etc.

Our website is supported by our users. We sometimes earn a commission when you click through the affiliate links on our website. See our privacy policy & disclosures for more information.

XL Gift Bags

How to wrap oversized gifts: 18″ or less

Here are your basic, last minute gift bags in an “extra-large” size. These will hold any gift measuring up to about 17″ x 12″ x 5″.

The gift can be longer than 17″ if you cover it with tissue paper or a blanket/sheet.

Double Up & Overlap the Wrapping Paper

Oversized to XL gifts: Larger than 30″ (box-shaped)

Unless you have extra wide wrapping paper, most gift wrapping paper rolls are about 30″ wide. If you have a gift that is much larger than that, but still box-shaped, you can wrap it in multiple stages.

Roll the paper all the way around one half or one third of the gift. Cut and tape (double-sided tape is helpful), then move down and do it again until you reach the end.

It takes a bit of extra effort, but this method looks pretty good (apart from the seam(s)), and can be done using the wrapping paper you have on hand. 

Upcycle Old Newspapers (or sheet music, books, etc.)

Oversized to XL gifts: any size, as long as you have enough newspaper

Reduce, reuse, and recycle that old newspaper. Just keep plastering on until the gift is covered.

Works best with gifts in a box, but you can really get creative with this creative gift wrapping idea.

And don’t feel limited to newspaper! You could also repurpose old book pages, sheet music, construction paper, brown paper bags from the grocery store, etc.

A little creativity goes a long way with this crafty idea.

Related: 9 Cute DIY Gift Wrap Ideas

Extra Wide Wrapping Paper — 48″

Oversized to XL gifts: 48″ (or larger if you overlap)

This is the “go big or go home” option for how to wrap a big box or gift. These 48″ extra wide wrapping paper rolls go on and on for 200 feet, meaning that you’ll always have the right amount of wrapping paper. 

Per foot, this is just about the cheapest wrap you can buy, and it presents a blank slate for you to decorate depending on the season, holiday, or occasion.

It’s conveniently available in all sorts of different colors, so add some festive ribbon and you’re all set!

Oversized Gift Sacks

XL gifts: 36″ x 56″ or less

These jumbo-sized gift bags measure 36″ x 56″ and are ideal for wrapping oversized presents like kitchen appliances, sporting goods, bedding sets, and much more.

Plus, they won’t set you back much more than about five bucks. For those awkwardly shaped gifts that are hard to wrap, these are a great way to go.

Garbage Bags or Sheet Plastic

Oversized to XL gifts: 2′ or less, more if you double-bag

Yes, the genius gift wrap technique perfected by broke college students. If you are even remotely open to this option, you’re probably already done wrapping your present and never laid eyes on this post. Well done.

The rest of you, move along.

Disposable Tablecloths

Oversized to XL gifts: 50″ x 25″ or less (unless you are using multiple tablecloths) 

Forget the gift boxes, wrapping paper, tissue paper, etc., and go to the dollar store and pick up a couple of plastic tablecloths.

They cover your table just fine, why not your oversized gift?

This is an easy way to quickly wrap your large gift without having to spring for expensive wrapping paper. All it takes is a couple bucks and a quick trip down the street.

Just don’t get sidetracked by the cheap candy isle…

Gifts People Love: 21 Best Beach Gifts for Beach Lovers

Drop Cloths and Tarps

XL to Crazy Big Gifts

Same idea as the tablecloth, but even bigger. You probably have something like this laying around the house.

Pull it out, cover your gift, and maybe tie some twine around it or put a large bow on top.

Thrift Store Sheets or Blankets

XL to Crazy Big Gifts

Once again, you probably have a set of bed sheets or a blanket lying around the house.

Gosh, I hope you have a set of sheets… If you don’t, what are you doing buying large and expensive gifts? Get your sheets together, people!

Just kidding. But if you don’t have extra sheets or blankets (or if you are worried they might get ruined), stop by a local thrift store and pick up a set of sheets for a few dollars.

Add a special touch by sprucing it up with a big bow or ribbon.

Fabric

Oversized to XL gifts

Many sewing, craft, and fabric stores will have reams of inexpensive fabric on sale. Simply purchase a few yards of it and wrap it around the gift.

If your skill set includes sewing, it doesn’t take too much work to create a large gift bag.

You can theme the fabric, too! Christmas fabric for holiday gifts, sports themed for a birthday gift, etc.

Mailing Tubes

XL gifts: 3-4″ x 20-48″

Long and narrow gifts can present a problem for the casual, non-professional gift wrapper.

Things like baseball bats, video stabilizers, javelins, golf clubs, and more have a unique shape that is difficult to wrap and hide. If this is your situation, consider using a mailing tube.

Cake Cover Style

XL to Crazy Big Gifts: 3′ x 6′ or so

Get an old box from an appliance store and cut off the top flaps. Place the box over the gift from the top, like you are covering a cake with a cake cover tin.

You can use just the box, wrap it, paste newspaper over it, or have kids draw on it for decoration. (They’ll want to use it afterwards for a house or fort anyways.)

Check it out: The WORST Gifts of All Time. Like, Ever.

This Is What I Think It Is Style

Sometimes it is fun to wrap a large and uniquely shaped object — like a guitar or kayak — with a tight wrap job that shows the exact shape of the gift inside.

Keep in mind that this wrapping technique requires a lot of time, patience, paper, and tape. But the effect is truly memorable!

Related: 37 Amazingly Creative DIY Gift Wrap Tutorials

Treasure Hunt (AKA Just Hide It)

XL to Crazy Big Gifts

If the gift is so stinkin’ big that you just give up on wrapping it, why, never fear — you can turn it into a game!

Hide the gift somewhere in your house, in the garage, outdoors (depending on time of year), in a shed, on the back porch, or even at a neighbor’s house.

Give them an envelope with a clue, which will lead them to another clue, and another and another…

Post It has a fun guide on how to do this here.

“Follow Me” String

XL to Crazy Big Gifts

Another one for when you are just done with all the wrapping.

Write “follow me” on a note and attach it to the end of a string. You can go directly to the gift, or make it a crazy adventure through a spiderweb maze of string.

The string will ultimately lead them to the gift, which will be in the garage, a closet, the backyard, etc.

Car Ribbons & Bows

Crazy Big Gifts

If your gift is super duper, extra jumbo sized (like a car or tractor) and none of these options fit…

Just put a bow on it, Bob. They’ll understand.

How to Wrap Large, Odd Shaped Gifts

Odd shaped gifts are the most fun to wrap! Kind of…

It takes the most creativity to hide what it is and uses up lots and lots of tape. And when you don’t have an extra large box to hide its ridiculous appearance, your creativity (along with these fun ideas) are all you have.

You can…

• Bag It Up. Use your favorite decorated bags filled with tissue or use the trash bag method like you read about above.
• Flat Bottom, Folded Top. Simply follow this cool guide to making your own make-shift bag around your gift. Works perfect on any item!
• Wrap It Up. Take your gift and some ribbon (or lights if your festive) and just wrap it around until the full gift is covered! Who cares if it looks weird, that’s half the fun. Don’t forget to add your bow.

How to Wrap a Large Gift Without Wrapping Paper

Sometimes you don’t have time to run to store for wrapping paper and that’s okay! We have some alternatives that will work like a charm:

• Trash Bag Method. Simply tie it up in a garbage bag or any oversized gift/shopping/tote bag. Make it unique by adding bows or taping drawings to the bag. Creative, fast, and personal!
• Clothes. Add on an extra gift, like a bed sheet, t-shirt, or scarf (depending on the gift size), and wrap it up in that.
• Newspaper. We all have a memory of a gift being wrapped in the funnies section from the newspaper. Carry on the tradition by wrapping their gift in newspaper! Never fails and they’ll get some good laughs out of it.

Be Inspired: Give a Tree! 5 Tree Gift Ideas That Make a Difference

How to Wrap a Long, Skinny Gift

Luckily, this problem isn’t too hard to solve! All we need is a little ingenuity and these ideas:

• Candy Method. Take your gift and roll it up as much as you’d like in a wrapping paper of your choice, then simple twist the excess ends of the paper and wrap them in ribbon. Ta-da! Now your gifts looks like a piece of wrapped candy!
• Mailing Tubes. Tubes are perfect for long skinny gifts. Just be sure to check the size before you buy! You might also consider old wrapping paper tubes, or document/poster tubes, if you have them available.
• Wrap It Up. This is the same trick for wrapping large, odd-shaped gifts. Take your gift and some ribbon (or lights if you’re feeling festive) and wrap it around until the full thing is covered. Add a bow, ribbon, and gift tag and you’re done.

How to Wrap a Big Gift Without a Box

We’ve all been there before. Go to wrap and you are completely box-less. That’s why it’s helpful to know these tricks to wrapping big gifts when you’re missing a box:

• Bags, Bags, Bags. What can I say? This method works for everything. Simply wrap/tie it up in a garbage bag or oversized gift bag! Make it unique by adding bows or evening sewing your own bag together with cloth. If it’s really big, tape bags together to create your own trash-bag wrapping paper.
• Hide It. Make this a game of hide-and-seek or surprise it with them right when they walk through the front door! After all, not everything needs wrapped.
• Add Duct Tape. We have all heard the phrase “duct tape fixes everything” right? When you don’t have a box, add some layers of your trusted duct tape to the wrapping paper and it will create a sturdy structure. Warning if your gift is truly oversized, XL, or crazy big, this may take a lot of duct tape!

Unique Wrapping Ideas

These fun, out-of-the-ordinary gift wrap ideas have us saying, “why didn’t we think of that?”

Oh wait, we did…

Don’t Wrap It, Map It

Use an old map or pages from an outdated atlas for a beautiful and adventurous twist on classic gift wrap.

Cellophane

You remember cellophane? You know, cling wrap’s colorful, less sticky cousin? Cellophane is a fun, relatively inexpensive alternative for gift wrap.

And it’s just so shiny…

Pillowcases

This is such a simple and effective idea. Pillowcases are basically just oversized, fabric gift bags if you think about it.

Pick a cute one and tie it off with a ribbon. Wah-lah!

Lace

Lace is so beautiful, and can be sourced from a variety of places. Old handkerchiefs, doilies, tablecloths (for bigger items), craft stores, online…

Especially great for wedding or anniversary gifts, or for those lovely ladies in your life. Just wrap or roll it up and secure with twine or a ribbon.

Scarf Wrap

Pick out a neat scarf to go along with their present, and wrap up the main gift inside!

Perfect for fall birthdays, anniversaries, or around Christmas time when they’ll be needing to keep toasty.

Decorated Butcher Paper

You can get rolls of white butcher paper online or at the store, then decorate it with drawings, quotes, well wishes, jokes… The sky is the limit!

If it’s for Father’s Day or Mother’s Day, have the kids decorate it or a fun touch.

Read Next: Don’t Recycle Gift Wrap; Do This Instead

The post How to Wrap Large Gifts: Oversized, XL, & CRAZY BIG Presents appeared first on All Gifts Considered.

Did you know that there’s actually a ton of gift giving occasions? You probably suspected, but now you’ll know:

Here’s pretty much every time you’ll be expected to bring a gift.

Gifting Holidays (& Other Gift-Giving Occasions)

The only thing better than a holiday is a holiday with gifts. Because gifts are fun!

Presents are great to receive, and even better to give – especially when you give a really thoughtful gift. But when should you bring a gift – or expect one?

It’s not always easy to know what holidays and special events require gifts. So we’ve taken the guesswork out of it for you. Read on for our helpful guide to gift holidays.

Starting with the most obvious ones…

1. Birthdays

Of course you should come to a birthday party with a gift! This should be a no-brainer.

What to bring? Start with our list of Gifts That Everyone Wants, and if necessary see the menu for specific gift ideas by the recipient’s age.

2. Christmas

When: December 25th

The tradition of Christmas as a gifting holiday is rooted in the Christian belief that in the incarnation of Jesus Christ, God gave humanity the greatest gift of all. We give gifts as a celebration and reflection of that first – and best – gift.

3. Weddings

When: Check your invite!

Weddings are definitely an occasion to bring a gift. What, and how much to spend, however, is entirely up to you. Think about how close you are to the new couple (family, as opposed to barely acquaintances, for example), and then go from there when shopping.

The best part is that they usually make it easy for you to choose a wedding gift: Check the wedding registry, choose a gift, and you’re done!

4. Father’s Day

When: 3rd Sunday in June

What to give really depends on a few things: is he YOUR father? Well, then the sky’s the limit! When in doubt, a sincerely written card will do.

More: The Best Father’s Day Gift Ideas

5. Mother’s Day

When: 2nd Sunday in May

Moms always deserve a gift – if you’re stuck for ideas, try a simple handwritten card and a beautiful bouquet of her favorite blooms.

More: Best Mother’s Day Gifts for Hard-to-Buy-for Moms

6. Anniversaries

When: Hopefully you remember!

It’s always a good idea to celebrate your anniversary by giving your spouse a special gift. This can be a wrapped present, or it can be an experience – a romantic home-cooked candlelit dinner, a favorite restaurant and a show or concert, a weekend getaway.

If you’re invited to an anniversary celebration in honor of a couple’s silver, gold, or other anniversary, a gift is considered proper etiquette.

More: Anniversary Gifts, Year by Year

7. Easter

When: Between March 22 and April 25th. Specifically, it’s the first Sunday after the full moon that occurs on or after the spring equinox.

Easter is the celebration of the risen Savior for Christians: the resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Easter baskets for kids are always fun to put together! Gifts for adults though? Not necessary for this holiday – though it could be a fun tradition to start!

More: Ultimate List of Easter Basket Ideas

8. Housewarming

Housewarmings are fun! They’re usually smallish parties where people invite their friends to celebrate the purchase of a new home. Sometimes they’re Open House style, so you don’t even have to worry about arriving on time.

A housewarming gift is considered good etiquette. This might be a bottle of wine, some local cider/craft beers, a potted plant, candles, anything that a new home might be in need of.

More: 21 Housewarming Gifts (That They Will Actually Use)

9. Graduation

When: May/June (end of school year)

Graduations celebrate a student graduating from high school, college, or trade school.

Gifts (like these creative ideas) are usually expected at a graduation party. Ideas that are popular include cash and gift cards.

Related: 50 Hilarious Graduation Gifts

10. Retirement

Retirement deserve a party and a gift! Give something that takes into consideration the retiree’s newly found leisure time. Things like gift certificates to the golf course, trips, gift cards for spas or restaurants.

More: 50 Retirement Gifts That Retirees Actually Love

11. Hostess

If you’ve been invited over for dinner, don’t show up empty handed! Yes, that means even if they said you didn’t need to bring anything. A bottle of wine is always appreciated, as is a bouquet of flowers for the table.

More ideas: When to Bring a Hostess Gift (+ Some Great Ideas)

12. Baby Showers

Baby showers are extra fun to shop for! Whether it’s Mama and Daddy’s first child, or their eleventh, they always need practical things like diapers, lotions, onesies, and bottles.

Related: 30 Thoughtful Baby Shower Gifts & Party Ideas

13. Bridal Showers

Check with the bride before you shop: while you must definitely bring a gift, some showers are more of the “wedding night” variety, while others are more of the kitchen/household type. And always include a gift receipt when you’re purchasing lingerie for someone (tastes and sizes vary).

More: Bridal Shower Party Ideas

14. Thank You

Thank you gifts are always appropriated when someone has gone above and beyond for you! We recommend anything from gift cards to plants to something homemade/edible.

More: 100 Best Thank-You Gifts to Show Your Appreciation

15. Bar Mitzvah / Bat Mitzvah (Jewish)

Bar Mitzvah: When a boy turns 13
Bat Mitzvah: When a girl turns 12

It’s most common to give gifts at Bar Mitzvahs/Bat Mitzvahs, but it’s also quite common to donate to a charity in their name. This custom is known as “tzedekah.” If you do give cash, give it in amounts equal to 18: that number is numerical for “chai,” which in Hebrew is “life.”

More: Best Bar & Bat Mitzvah Gifts

16. Christenings

Christenings can be lavish affairs or a simple ceremony, when a baby is dedicated to God. Typically there is a gathering of family and friends afterwards, so if you’re invited be sure to bring a gift for the wee little one.

More: Best Christening Gifts

17. Baptisms

Baptisms aren’t always associated with gifts, but a handwritten card will be a wonderful contribution to your friend’s important day. However – in celebration of the gift of salvation – why not give a gift? A new Bible, a plaque, a journal, or some Christian books will always be appreciated.

More: Best Baptism Gift Ideas from Children to Adults

18. Quinceañera (Mexico)

When: A girl’s 15th birthday

A Quinceañera is a very extravagant birthday party for a 15 year old girl, and gifts are most definitely expected! She has likely even registered her desires – so that will make your choices easier! Steer clear of the traditional Quinceañera gifts that you will find by googling: those are reserved for close family members to purchase.

More: Quinceañera Gifts for a Beautiful 15 Year Old

19. Valentine’s Day

When: February 14th

The good thing about Valentine’s Day is you only have to buy for one person! Your sweet baboo.

More: The 40 Best Valentine’s Day Gifts for Your Sweetheart

20. Dinner Parties

Dinner parties can be lavish or simple. Plan your contribution accordingly (but do bring something). See: Hostess Gifts, above.

21. Hannukah (Jewish)

When: The 25th day of Kislev in the Hebrew calendar, so check your calendar each year.

Silver and blue are the colors of Hannukah, so plan your gift around that!

22. Cinco de Mayo (Mexico and Mexican-American)

When: May 5th

Cinco de Mayo is a celebration, so we think homemade or store bought foods are always the best to bring. If you’re invited to a party, consider a hostess gift, but ultimately any contribution will be appreciated – and consumed!

More: 21 Best Cinco de Mayo Gifts and 100+ Cindo de Mayo Party Ideas

23. Engagements

It’s traditional to give your new fiancée an engagement gift. Sometimes it’s expensive jewelry, other times something to help plan the wedding (like a leather bound wedding planner), or something practical for the home (in anticipation of your life together). Or just something sweet and romantic!

While engagements don’t require a gift from other people (that usually comes later with the showers and the actual wedding), a nice card would be appreciated. If it’s a close friend or family member, your enthusiastic congrats will be the perfect gift!

More: Engagement Gifts That Will Really Stand Out

24. Halloween

When: October 31st

Gifts aren’t typically given, in the traditional sense, on Halloween. Rather, kids walk around the neighborhood dressed up in fun or scary costumes and “trick or treat” the neighbors. This is a tradition that began with the idea of “give me a treat, or I’ll play a trick on you!”

Nowadays, it’s mostly harmless fun where the little hoodlums knock on a door, say “trick or treat!” and then hold out their buckets to be filled with candy. Buy a few bags of mini candy bars to give out, and leave your front porch lights on. (It’s a code: Lights on means come and get candy; lights off means we’re not home or don’t celebrate the holiday.)

More: Halloween Party Ideas and Fun Halloween Date Night Ideas

25. Chinese New Year

When: between January 21st and February 20th.

A traditional gift is a red packet filled with money.

26. New Year’s (or New Year’s Eve)

When: January 1st (or December 31st)

New Year’s Eve is a party night, so plan accordingly! While it isn’t traditional to give gifts, it is traditional to give kisses at midnight!

27. Memorial Day (American)

When: the last Monday in May.

Memorial Day is set aside as a time of remembrance for those who have died in service to their country. It is appropriate to give flowers or some other grave décor to honor the memory of fallen heroes.

28. Veteran’s Day

When: November 11th (in the United States)

Veteran’s Day is a time to honor the living military veterans among us. Whether they are currently serving or retired, be sure to say “Thank you!” to a veteran.

Service members – active duty or retired – do not want or expect gifts on Veteran’s Day. So it’s not really one of the main gift occasions.

But you can show your appreciation in other ways. Buy them lunch or a cup of coffee. For elderly veterans, mow their lawn, weed their garden, or find some other act of service that expresses your thanks.

More: Best Gifts for Every Veteran

29. Earth Day / Arbor Day

Earth Day: April 22
Arbor Day: Last Friday in April

Both of these holidays occur in the last quarter of April each year. Interestingly, while nowadays Earth Day is the “big one,” Arbor Day is actually a national holiday in the USA, while Earth Day is not.

Both special days emphasize taking care of the planet. Arbor Day is more specifically geared towards planting trees, so this is a wonderful time to send someone the gift of a tree planting dedication.

Either day, you can certainly throw a party, gather a group to pick up litter or plant trees together, teach how to compost at home, or other eco-friendly activities.

If you’re invited to an Arbor or Earth Day party, we’d suggest coming with the gift of a tree for the host or hostess.

30. Fourth of July

When: July 4th

The Fourth of July symbolizes the freedom for Americans from the English. While not necessarily a gift giving holiday, if you are invited to a party, you should definitely bring something.

We suggest BBQ-style foods and beverages. If you’re invited to stay and set off fireworks, bring your own contribution to the fireworks stockpile.

More: 4th of July Gift Guide

31. Purim (Jewish)

When: The 14th day of the Hebrew month of Adar, which is typically between late February to mid-March

Purim celebrates Esther and Mordecai’s victory over Haman, a Persian official intent on destroying the Jews. Traditional observances include dressing up in costumes, reading the biblical book of Esther, and feasting. What to give? Gift baskets filled with home-cooked foods!

32. St Patrick’s Day (Irish)

When: March 17th

If you are invited to a party, bring something Irish inspired! It’s a feast day for Saint Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland.

Related: St. Patrick’s Day Gifts, Favors, and Party Ideas

33. White Elephant Party

It’s all about the gifts for this one! The fun part? They’re usually bizarre and wacky. So let your imagination run wild! Shop at thrift stores, yard sales, even your own garage for this one.

34. Sympathy/Loss

When someone you know has experienced the death of a loved one, you should express your condolences by sending a card or at least a thoughtful text message. If you’re close to the person who has suffered a loss, a sympathy gift is appropriate and appreciated.

One meaningful gesture of support is to deliver a meal. This is helpful because the family will be dealing doubly with grief and with making the funeral arrangements, so preparing food is often the last thing on their minds.

More: 10 Heartwarming Sympathy Gift Ideas for a Grieving Friend

35. Moving

Oh, hey, guess what your friends want on this day? Your help moving! So, back up that truck, baby.

But seriously, it’s also very appropriate to give a small token of your love and friendship. Whether it’s a card, a gift card, a sentimental keepsake gift, or something practical for their new home, your soon-to-be-distant friend will cherish your gift.

More: 50+ Moving Away Gifts for an Unforgettable Farewell

36. Epiphany/Three King’s Day (Christian)

When: January 6th, which is the 12th and final day of Christmas – you know, like the song!

The word epiphany means “appearance” or “manifestation,” and the holiday commemorates Jesus’ first appearance before Gentiles. This is when the Magi (the kings/wise men who gave the three gifts to Jesus) came and saw Jesus.

If you’re invited to an Epiphany party, expect it to be at least somewhat if not completely religious in nature. Bring wine or appetizers and you’ll be fine.

Related: 21 Best Epiphany Gifts for the 12th Day of Christmas

37. All Saints Day (Roman Catholic/Christian)

When: November 1

All Saints Day is a day to remember all the saints who have been canonized in the Catholic Church.

Interestingly, this is where Halloween came from: “All Hallows (aka saints) Eve” morphed into “Halloween.” The day before celebrating saints was thought of as a day when evil came out in full force.

38. Boxing Day

When: December 26th, the day after Christmas

This holiday is a time to give to the less fortunate among us. After celebrating Christmas and giving gifts to family and friends, it is appropriate to remember the poor.

Here’s where the name came from: Church parishioners would be encouraged to contribute to the alms boxes in the days and weeks leading up to Christmas. On December 26th – Boxing Day – the alms boxes were opened and distributed to the poor.

Sadly, nowadays Boxing Day is primarily known as a shopping holiday. Maybe we should aim to bring back the old meaning!

Learn More: Boxing Day Gift Ideas, History, Celebrations, and More

39. Juneteenth

When: June 19th (a combo of the words).

Juneteenth honors the emancipation of African-American slaves in the United States. On June 19th, 1865, news of the end of the Civil War (and thus the emancipation of slaves) reached one of the last holdouts in Galveston, Texas.

To celebrate, throw a party, support Black-owned businesses, and give food and other gifts to one another in celebration of the abolishment of slavery.

40. Kwanzaa (African)

When: December 26th through January 1

It’s a celebration of African American culture and always end with a big feast called Karamu. So, while you don’t need to bring a gift, you might want to contribute to the feast!

41. Ramadan (Islamic)

When: Between April and May based on the Islamic calendar

Ramadan is a 30 day period of fasting during the daytime hours (not even water), followed by a meal after sundown in which the family breaks their fast together. Gifts are often given at the end of Ramadan, mostly for children. These are typically gifts of clothing and toys.

42. Eid al-Adha (Islamic)

When: the 10th day of the final month of the Islamic calendar

This holiday marks the pilgrimage to Mecca and the sacrifice of Abraham of his son. Gifts commonly include money as well as clothing, toys, food, cosmetics, and accessories.

43. Appreciation Days

There are Appreciation Days for nurses, firefighters, secretaries, teachers, and many more vocations.

These days are important too! If you have a hard working person in your life, remember their special day by taking a peek at the calendar and then going shopping for something you know they’ll appreciate.

When Should You Give a Gift?

Now that we’ve covered about a MILLION (or, ya know, 43) gift-giving occasions, we need to note: Not every holiday needs to find you rushing out with gifts in hand!

If you plan on being at the wedding, for example, you don’t likely need a separate engagement gift. Likewise, if you already attended the baby shower, present in hand, you don’t need to feel pressured to bring a gift to the Christening (just a card will do).

Likewise, some holidays (like Thanksgiving and Halloween) aren’t considered gift-giving holidays, but they ARE fun to shop for anyway! Bringing a little something for whomever is hosting Thanksgiving dinner will be much appreciated, for example, even though there won’t be a big gift unwrapping to-do at the table. And your Halloween candy IS the gift!

Remember that, no matter the occasion, a lovely hand-written card is always a much appreciated gesture. Sometimes even more so than what’s in the gift bag! If money is tight (or you already contributed to the bridal shower and don’t want to purchase a separate wedding gift) a carefully and thoughtfully inscribed note is priceless.

10 Gifts You Should Keep on Hand

If you haven’t yet had a last-minute gift-giving emergency – well, you will. Here are some stellar gifts you should keep on hand for any holiday, celebration, or special day.

1. Blank Cards

We’ve all done it: forgotten someone’s birthday or anniversary and it’s too late to run to the store for a perfect card! Keep a box of blank, generic cards with envelopes on hand for those forehead smacking moments. I always keep a couple of extra Christmas cards in unaddressed envelopes as well, in case of suddenly remembered acquaintances!

P.S. Don’t forget the stamps!

2. Gift Cards

Whether it’s a simple $5 gift card to Starbucks, or a larger amount to Amazon, gift cards won’t weigh down your envelope you’re sending your loved one, and they are always appreciated!

These are great to keep on hand for gifting holidays and other occasions like Teacher Appreciation Day, Nurse’s Day, and the like.

3. Bath & Spa Items

These keep for a nice long time and so they’re perfect for stocking your gift closet/drawer/box!

Sometimes someone will gift YOU a particular lotion or bath salt that just isn’t your cup of tea. Into the re-gifting pile it goes! Just of course, remember not to give it back to the original gifter (so awkward).

4. Candy & Chocolate

Most candies and chocolate have a good shelf life, so these are easy to tuck into an envelope or to accompany a bottle of wine. Just make sure to store in a dark, cool place!

5. Wine

Having a bottle or two of extra lying around that you don’t plan on drinking is just the thing for a last minute Hostess gift or Housewarming Party. Buying from a local vineyard or brewery makes it extra special, but a regular find at a grocery store is nothing to scoff at!

6. Journals

Blank journals make great gifts! Whether gifted to a sketcher, a doodler, a list maker, or a writer, blank books come in so handy and they’re easy to stock up even at the dollar store. From the creative person to the super-organizer, everyone loves to receive a fresh journal.

7. Blankets

Smallish throws are always appreciated as gifts for any occasion, and they’re easy to store until needed. Stock up when they’re less expensive during the summer, and you have Christmas covered!

8. Candles

Candles are always a beloved gift that never goes out of style. Plus they come in so many sizes and shapes and scents!

Pro Tip: Stores deeply discount any leftover “holiday” scents, like Pine, Pumpkin Spice, and Cinnamon right after those holidays. Stock up and you’ll be more than ready for next year!

9. Coffee & Tea

Just double check their expiration date (it should be long off if unopened). A yummy bag of beans or a box of lovely tea make great gifts to have on hand when needed. Otherwise, keep some cute mugs on hand with packs of cocoa – always a good idea!

10. Slippers & Socks

Who doesn’t love a nice new pair of fuzzy socks or comfy slippers? These are simple enough to have on hand and make great gifts for him or her on any gifting holiday.

Pin it to your holiday planning board!

The post Gifting Holidays: 43 Popular Gift-Giving Occasions appeared first on All Gifts Considered.

What should you put in a homeless care package that will actually help a person in need?

10 Best Things to Put in Homeless Care Kits

For easy reference, here are some of the most-requested items (according to homeless advocates and shelter workers), a “top ten” if you will:

1. Socks (this is the #1 most asked-for item)
2. Gloves
3. Water bottle
4. Bandages
5. Wet wipes
6. Toothbrush and toothpaste
7. Sunscreen
8. Tuna & cracker packs
9. Single-serving snacks like trail mix, nuts, crackers
10. Nail clippers

Often called “blessing bags,” these simple kits are affordable, easy to assemble, and provide an opportunity to share with those in need.

Below, we will take a look at what goes in to the ideal homeless care package, how to choose the right resources, how to put it all together, and tips for giving them out.

Homeless Care Packages that ACTUALLY Help

If you want to make and give out care kits that actually help, you’ll want to think about the main question: what do homeless people need?

WHAT TO PUT INSIDE

Clothing & Accessories

• Socks. Nice, high-quality, thick socks. Wool or thermal socks are best.
• Gloves. Again, one good quality pair of warm gloves will be a much greater blessing than several low-cost items.

What to avoid: Cheap socks, cheap gloves, and most clothing items in general. It is hard to judge a person’s size, and there are many shelters and ministries that provide decent used clothing (include a list of such places in your care kit), but good, clean socks and gloves are a huge necessity and much harder to come by than, say, a t-shirt.

Personal Hygiene

• Nail clippers
• Bandages (large ones, especially useful for blisters)
• Comb and/or brush
• Hand lotion
• Lip balm
• Face towels
• Tooth brush and toothpaste
• Wet wipes
• Maxi pads
• Chewable multivitamins
• Tissues

What to avoid: Soap, hand sanitizer, mouthwash, anything with fragrance, large items. Soap, because anywhere they can get a shower will likely offer soap. Hand sanitizer and mouthwash because they have alcoholic content and this is not a good idea for potential addicts. Fragrance, because it is insulting and many people have sensitivities. Large items, because they are difficult to carry.

If you do choose to include soap (or anything with a fragrance), make sure it is well-packaged and sealed. A bar of soap should be put in its own ziploc bag. Why? Well, especially if you have food items, the fragrances will affect the food.

Food & Snacks

• Water bottle
• Beef jerky
• Tuna salad and cracker packs
• Peanut butter cracker packs
• Breakfast/protein bars (watch out for melty chocolate)
• Raisins, craisins, other dried fruit
• Mints
• Other non-perishable food items

What to avoid: Gum, nuts, or anything difficult to chew. Many homeless individuals develop dental issues, so it is best to start with things that are easier on the teeth. Also avoid cans that don’t have a pop-top.

Misc Extras

• Headlamp flashlight
• Rain ponchos
• Flashlight
• Hand warmers
• Can opener
• Quarters for laundry
• Feminine hygiene products
• Cough drops
• Tarp
• Sewing kit
• First aid kit
• Utensils
• Ziploc bags

A light, tight homeless care kit

After all the research and asking professionals and trial and error, here is my personal rendition of a light, tight homeless care kit that packs the most amount of blessing in the smallest amount of space.

This also balances cost so you can afford to give out more.

For each kit:

• Gallon plastic bag with zipper (1 x $0.20)
• Handwritten note of encouragement
• Printout of local resources
• Nice wool socks (1 x $4-6)
• Water bottle (1 x $0.35)
• Tuna cracker pack (1 x $1)
• Nail clippers (1 x $0.50)
• Large bandages (5 x $0.15)
• Individually wrapped wet wipes (5 x $0.05)

Total size: 10″ x 6″ x 4″ (approximate)

Total cost: $7-10 per pack, depending on actual price and if you get bulk.

Let’s take a little closer look at each item.

PLASTIC BAG

You’ll want to start with a nice zipper plastic bag. Why the zipper? The regular types tent to stop sealing after opening and closing a few times.

Spend the extra pennies to get the nice ones, and the person who receives this will get a bonus reusable bag they can use to store important personal effects after they use the items from the care kit.

HAND WRITTEN NOTE

It is very important, IMO, to write a note by hand.

Why? It shows that you care.

Just like a hand-written thank you note, hand-written invitations, or anything else.

You can put a tract inside, but a personal note is a must. Everyone sees the pre-printed tracts like junk mail – one glance tells you what it is, and it gets tossed.

Instead, write why you are giving this care kit, that you love, care for, value them, and include a Bible verse or prayer of blessing. This will go much further than a tract that you spent zero effort on.

For our kits, we had blank cards with envelopes in which we wrote Bible verses and notes of encouragement. The kids helped out, copying down some verses and also coming up with their own encouragements.

We thought that having several people write in a note was a good way to show that more than one person is caring for the recipient through each package.

Just make sure you think through what you write so that your notes don’t sound condescending, and proof-read anything written by kids.

LIST OF LOCAL RESOURCES

Additionally, along with the note you can print a list of local homeless resources.

Include local homeless shelters and soup kitchens. List where they can get a hot meal or shower, a haircut, help with jobs or addiction recovery, a bed for the night, clothing, restrooms, and anything else. Contact the local shelters and ask them for recommendations.

We included the contact info for the nearest (and to our knowledge, best) shelter in the area and printed it, four to a page, then cut them out and slipped one into each card.

The note included some details of what the shelter offers – lodging, showers, food, haircuts, addiction recovery, etc.

NICE WOOL SOCKS

Once again, this is simply the #1 most needed item. Even if you’re doing homeless hygiene kits that focus on hygienic needs, socks will go a long ways towards making your kit a genuine blessing bag.

Durable, warm, cozy, high-quality socks are a must for people who walk almost everywhere in the thickest boots they can find.

You can go cheap on everything else, but don’t skimp on the socks.

BOTTLED WATER

Proper hydration is difficult when you are out on the streets. Bottled water takes up a lot of space in your care package, but they can drink it right away or toss it if they need to.

If they need the water, it is at very little cost to you and a huge, huge, immediate blessing.

If they don’t need it, again, very little cost and a plastic water bottle is very easy to toss.

TUNA CRACKER PACK

These little packs have good protein, include carbs, keep for a while, don’t melt, and are delicious.

This seems to be one of the best balances between healthy (but perishable) and non-perishable (but super unhealthy).

You can also substitute other protein and carbohydrate-rich foods with a long shelf life, like individually packaged beef jerky/sticks or peanut butter crackers.

NAIL CLIPPERS

Nail clippers are a simple tool that is easily taken for granted. It’s the little things that can make a huge difference.

You can get them at the dollar store or order in bulk online for less, and it will be a much-appreciated and oft-used item.

LARGE BANDAGES

Primarily for blisters. Think about it: if you are on your feet all day, walking everywhere you need to go, how often are you going to get chafed skin, blister, and sores?

Get a bulk pack of large 3-4″ bandaids and divide them up in little baggies to go inside all the homeless care kits you pack.

WET WIPES

Another no-brainer, once you think of it. Wet wipes, aka baby wipes, are a small, portable, handy, and appreciated luxury. Go for the individually wrapped ones.

What not to give a homeless person

We’ve mentioned several of these items above, but here is everything to avoid in one place:

• Cash
• Matches
• Perishable items
• Sticky, crunchy, or hard foods like gum or nuts (potential dental issues)
• Sugary foods
• Soaps and fragrant items
• Mouthwash
• Large items
• Clothes that must be a specific size
• Sharp objects (disposable razors, etc)
• Used items
• Your personal contact information

Gift cards can be ok, especially if they are for a local restaurant, a grocery store, or for gas. But even then most professionals who work with the homeless community recommend that you do not give anything of value that could be sold or traded.

Tips for great care packages

Try to keep the bags small. Not everyone can carry around a lot of stuff, so aim for fewer but better items.

Write a personal note. Write – in your own handwriting – a card that says their welfare is important to you, that they are loved, that you are praying for them, that they are valued, etc. Feel free to mention why you are doing this; perhaps as an expression of your faith, because you’ve been there yourself, etc.

Include a list of resources. Addresses for the local gospel rescue mission, men’s shelter, women’s shelter, places they can get meals, shelter, and showers, where they can receive emegerncy medical services, and more. Contact your local shelter and ask them, as they will be an invaluable resource with a hands-on knowledge of the needs of the homeless in your area, plus what resources are available.

Take your time. Pull the car over and get out and talk if you can. Ask their name, their story. A hand-delivered care package, a few minutes of conversation, a smile, genuine eye contact, all this can go a long ways towards showing someone that they are important, valued, and loved.

Ask to pray with them. Not everyone will say yes, and that’s ok. Respect their wishes, but if they say yes, pray for them and that they would be blessed. Also pray before and after you give the homeless care package.

Be safe. Most homeless men and women are not dangerous. They are people just like anyone else. Still, it is wise to be in a group when handing out homeless kits, especially if you are going to stop and get out.

Pin It – Share it!

The post How to make Homeless Care Kits that ACTUALLY help appeared first on All Gifts Considered.

Copy and paste.

Scarlett & Rhett.

PB & J.

If you’re looking for the “perfect pair” of things that go together, we’ve gotcha covered.

Here are over one hundred of the best “we go together like…” quotes. These are great for celebrating romance and friendship alike, with a dash of cutesy humor.

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Best We Go Together Like Quotes

We’ve divided our collection of two things that go together funny quotes into sections for couples and for BFFs.

However, aside from a few romantic-type quotes, most of these can be applied to either couples or besties, so be sure to read through both lists.

We Go Together Like Quotes for Couples

So you think you’re the perfect couple? Try these romantic similes!

We go together like…

• Adam & Eve
• Aloo & gobi
• Antony & Cleopatra
• Arts & crafts
• A bushel & a peck
• A wink & a smile
• Bed & breakfast
• Bonnie & Clyde
• Bread & butter
• Campfires & smores
• Coffee & cream
• Cookies & milk

We go together like…

• Copy & paste
• Cory & Topanga
• Cupcakes & frosting
• Dandelions & daydreams
• Darcy & Elizabeth
• Disney & happily ever after
• Fish & chips
• G’day & mate
• Han & Leia
• Hanky & panky
• Homer & Marge
• Hot chocolate & marshmallows
• Hugs & kisses
• Jim & Pam
• Lightning & thunder
• Lois & Clark
• Macaroni & cheese
• Marshall & Lily
• Meat & potatoes
• Monica & Chandler
• The moon & the stars
• Needle & thread
• Netflix & chill
• Noah & Allie
• Nutella & anything
• Nutella & a spoon
• One & the same
• Pad & thai
• Peaches & cream

We go together like…

• Peanut butter & jelly
• Peas & carrots
• Pieces of a puzzle
• R & R
• Red on a rose
• Rey & Kylo
• Romeo & Juliet
• Ron & Hermione
• Rose & Jack
• Salt & pepper
• Shampoo & conditioner
• Spaghetti & meatballs
• Superman & Lois Lane
• Tacos & Tuesdays
• Tarzan & Jane
• Tea & cookies
• Tea & crumpets
• Tikka & masala
• William & Kate

Related: 20 Uniquely Romantic Quotes for Your Soulmate

We Go Together Like Quotes for Besties

What two things go together perfectly? You and me.

BFFs are two of a kind. Although sometimes besties can be total opposites. Or troublemakers.

We go together like…

• … it or not
• Alcohol & bad decisions
• An old lady & 27 cats
• Anne & Diana
• Avacado & toast
• A quiet room & a fart
• Bacon & eggs
• Bacon & anything
• Bait & switch
• Bathtubs & toasters
• Ben & Jerry
• Betty & Veronica
• Breaking & entering
• Cain & Abel
• Calvin & Hobbes
• Cheech & Chong
• Chinese food & chocolate pudding
• Chips & dips
• CID & logic
• Clowns & crying children
• Control & status register
• Cod & swallop
• Cops & robbers
• Cops & donuts
• Diablo & Red Bull
• Drunk & disorderly
• Feet & Legos
• Fiddles & sticks
• Fire & brimstone
• Forks & power outlets
• Frodo & Sam
• Gin & tonic
• Hamilton & Burr
• Hipsters & Sriracha
• Lipstick & leopard print
• Lo & behold
• Mary Kate & Ashley
• Mentos & coke
• Odds & ends
• Oil & water
• Orange juice & toothpaste
• Pina coladas & tiny umbrellas
• Pumpkin & spice
• R2D2 & C3PO
• Rama lama lama ka dinga da dinga dong
• Rock & roll
• Robin Hood & Little John
• Rocket & Groot
• Rum & coke
• Salt & vinegar
• Scout & Boo
• Search & destroy
• Shake & bake
• Sharks & tornadoes
• Sherlock & Watson
• Shock & awe
• Smoke & fire
• SpongeBob & Patrick
• Sugar & spice
• Taco Bell & the runs
• Tesla & Edison
• Tequila & lime
• Timon & Pumbaa
• Tom Hanks & a volleyball
• Tom & Huck
• Tonya Harding & Nancy Kerrigan
• TP & #2
• Trucks & mud
• Two peas in a pod
• Unicorns & glitter
• Wile E. Coyote & Road Runner
• Wine & cheese
• Woody & Buzz
• Your face & a wall
• Zebras & stripes

Read next: The Couple’s Gift Guide

You are the __ to My __ Quotes

Here’s a fun variation on the “we go together like…” phrase.

You are the…

• Bomb to my diggity
• Candy to my cane
• Flip to my flop
• Froot to my loops
• Ghetto to my booty
• Ginger to my bread
• Hanky to my panky
• Heart to my beat
• Ice to my cream
• Icing to my cake
• Lolly to my pop
• Milky to my way
• Mis to my chief
• Non to my sense
• Peanut to my butter
• Rock to my roll
• She to my nanigans
• Star to my burst
• Straw to my berry
• Sweet to my savory
• Wi to my fi
• Window to my walls, the sweat to my…. you know.

And don’t forget the all time classic…

You’re the key to my heart.

Foods That Go Together

Certain flavors complement each other so well that they take on an iconic status. Let’s take a look at the most popular foods that go together like salt and pepper, bacon and eggs, cookie dough and a spoon…

• Bacon and eggs
• Beans and rice
• Biscuits and gravy
• Bread and butter
• Chicken and dumplings
• Fish and chips
• Grilled cheese and tomato soup
• Ham and cheese
• Ketchup and mustard
• Macaroni and cheese
• Meat and potatoes
• Peanut butter and jelly
• Pork and beans
• Soup and salad
• Spaghetti and meatballs
• Strawberries and cream

More Things That Go Together

In linguistics, a collocation is the habitual juxtaposition of one specific word with another. In other words, things which are incomplete without each other.

Here are more inseparable pairs examples:

• Bells and whistles
• Black and white
• Bright and early
• By and large
• Calm and collected
• Cease and desist
• Champagne and caviar
• Chaos and confusion
• Cloak and dagger
• Crisp and clean
• Cut and dried
• Down and out
• Fair and square
• Fast and furious
• First and foremost
• Flesh and blood
• Free and easy
• Gloom and doom
• Hale and hearty
• Hammer and nail
• High and dry
• Huff and puff
• Hustle and bustle
• Jot and tittle
• Kith and kin
• Law and order
• Leaps and bounds
• Live and learn
• Lock and key
• Lost and found
• Movers and shakers
• Neat and tidy
• Nook and cranny
• Nuts and bolts
• Peace and quiet
• Pencil and paper
• Pins and needles
• Plain and simple
• Pots and pans
• Rock and hard place
• Safe and sound
• Sick and tired
• Smoke and mirrors
• Spick and span
• Stars and planets
• Stars and stripes
• Thick and thin
• Time and again
• Tooth and nail
• Pickled and pink
• Trial and error
• Up and running
• Wine and dine

Three Things That Go Together

That’s right, we’re going there. Not one, not two, but three things that go together! Inseparable trios, triads, and triplets! Threesomes, trinities, and thriples!

Ok, enough of that. Here are popular examples of three things that go together:

• Bacon, lettuce, and tomato
• Beg, borrow, or steal
• Blood, sweat, and tears
• Eat, drink, and be merry
• Faith, hope, and charity
• Father, Son, and Holy Spirit
• Hook, line, and sinker
• Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness
• Live, laugh, love
• Lock, stock, and barrel
• Mind, body, and spirit
• Morning, noon, and night
• Past, present, and future
• Ready, set, go
• Ready, willing, and able
• Red, white, and blue
• Rinse, lather, repeat
• See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil
• Tall, dark, and handsome
• The good, the bad, and the ugly
• Up, up, and away (maybe this one’s a stretch, but hey, it’s three terms)
• Wash, rinse, and repeat
• Win, lose, or draw
• Work, rest, and play

Two Things That Go Together: Share Your Favorite Quote!

There are two things which are incomplete without each other: Sharing this post, and you!

So before you go, pin, send, share, or post your favorite quote image below. Be sure to tag your other half!

Did we miss your favorite “we go together like” simile? Comment below!!

The post 100+ Best “We Go Together Like…” Quotes appeared first on All Gifts Considered.

**Pregnant pause…….**

Of course it is! Getting old is hilarious.

With each passing year, it’s best to share a laugh about getting older with friends and family.

For a friend or loved one who has both an upcoming birthday to celebrate and – importantly – a great sense of humor, here are over a hundred old age jokes for birthday cards.

101 Old Age Jokes for Birthday Cards

We’ll start with our best one-liner old people jokes, then move in to funny birthday wishes for BFFs.

After that, you’ll find some great, humorous quotes about getting older, followed by the very best old-age puns.

Then we’ll wrap things up with birthday jokes and special wishes for seniors that will surely make them smile.

Enjoy!!

Best Old Age One-Liners for Birthday Cards

Short and sweet one-liners to poke fun at your favorite old fart.

1. Birthdays aren’t as fun when you’re older, but fortunately you don’t have many more to go.

2. You’re so old, I heard your social security number is 3.

3. You know you’re old when the candles cost more than the cake.

4. Congratulations on being able to cough, fart, sneeze, and pee at the same time!

5. With old age comes great wisdom
… and hairs in weird places that need to be plucked.

6. Fabulosity has no age.

7. Your birthday is becoming a serious fire hazard with all those candles.

8. Isn’t it a great feeling knowing you’re so old there’s nothing left to learn the hard way?

9. I wanted to give you a funny card, but I was concerned that at your age you might pee yourself.

10. Does it feel weird being the same age as old people?

11. Things that age well: Wine. Cheese. You.

12. Don’t you wish that you were as old as the first time you thought you were old?

13. So….. how old are we pretending to be this year?

14. I’m not going to make any hilarious jokes about getting old because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.

15. You’re not old, you’re 30 (plus shipping and handling).

16. One year closer to being back in diapers.

17. Allow me to suggest that this is the year you start lying about your age.

18. Congrats on being ancient.

19. It’s your birthday – smile while you still have teeth!

20. Happy birthday! You don’t look a day older than dirt.

Read: How to give someone a gift without being awkward

Old Age Birthday Wishes for BFFs

When your best friend celebrates a birthday, it’s always good to remind them that they’re, like, super old.

21. Don’t worry about getting older. You’re still going to do dumb stuff, only slower.

22. Happy birthday, dear friend. Now cash that social security check and let’s party like crazy!

23. You’re so old that if I told you to act your age, you’d probably drop dead.

24. Happy birthday to someone who has seen it all, done it all, and doesn’t remember a lick of it.

25. Happy birthday! Remember, be nice to your kids because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

26. Live each day as if it were your last… because at your age, it just might be.

27. It’s amazing that at our age, we still don’t need glasses. That’s because we drink straight from the bottle. Cheers on your birthday!

28. Shout out to my BFF on your birthday! (At your age, that’s the only way you can hear me.)

29. If the good die young… bestie, we just may live forever.

30. I’m not saying your old, but if you were milk I’d sniff you.

31. With age comes wisdom.
Happy birthday, genius.

32. Happy 29th birthday!
From your 110lb friend.

33. We’ll be friends ’til we’re old and senile… and then we’ll be new friends!
(plus we’ll be able make this joke every year and laugh like it’s the first time we heard it)

34. If you get stumbling-drunk for your birthday tonight, remember to wrap yourself in bubble wrap because people at your age break more easily.

35. Age gets better with wine.

36. We’re not old… we’re recycled teenagers.

37. I’m soooooooo glad we were young and crazy before there were cell phones and the internet and all that evidence.

38. You’re officially too old to drop it like it’s hot. So how about you just sit down like it’s warm. 

39. We’ll never be over the hill. After all, we’ll be too darn tired to try and climb it…

40. Happy birthday from your much (much) younger friend.

Related: 200 Simple Birthday Wishes

Funny Old Age Quotes for Birthdays

Some of our favorite birthday quotes about old age.

41. Happy birthday to someone who truly deserves to be treasured. After all, fossils from your era are hard to find.

42. They say age is just a number. For you, it’s a really, really big number. Happy birthday!

43. “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” – Bob Hope

44. I know you don’t like attention on your birthday. I just wanted to send you a quick birthday message to cheer you up by reminding you that, thankfully, there aren’t many left.

45. How are stars like false teeth? They both come out at night!

46. Happy birthday, you old fart. I hope your birthday doesn’t stink.

47. I was going to poke fun at how old you’re getting on your birthday, but fortunately for you I was raised to respect my elders.

48. Remember, you don’t have to rewind Netflix videos when you’re done watching a movie.

49. You’re so old you get status updates on your friends from the obituary section.

50. Relax, you’re not getting old. That ship has sailed – you’ve been old for quite a while now.

51. Old age is coming to all of us. But mostly you. Happy birthday, old-timer.

52. Congrats on another year of not dying!

53. Another year closer to hearing aids, walkers, and velcro shoes!

54. Look who’s all grown up and ready for that annual colonoscopy!

55. You’re so old you walked into an antique store and they tried to sell you.

56. You know you’re old when your back goes out more than you do. I wish you the happiest of birthdays, falling asleep in your rocking chair!

57. Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of keeping you from shock when you go by a mirror.

58. You don’t actually get smarter as you get older. There’s just less stupid stuff left to do that you haven’t already done.

59. I’m not going to make any getting old jokes to dampen this momentous occasion. After all, the fact that you’re still alive is nothing short of a miracle and deserves to be celebrated.

60. If you find your new age hard to swallow, just add some tequila. That should do the trick.

Related: Happy Belated Birthday Wishes, Quotes, and Ideas to Coverup Your Screwup

Best Old Age Puns

Old people love punny birthday cards. These getting old puns are the geezer version of birthday dad jokes.

61. If you ever own a ranch, you should call it “Pasture Prime.”

62. When you were born, the Dead Sea was only sick.

63. Do you want to know the secret to having a smoking hot body at your age? Cremation.

64. I’ve got a great tip for you in your old age. Instead of calling the bathroom “the John,” call it “the Jim.” That way you can tell people, “I go to the Jim the first thing every morning!”

65. As you get older, don’t bother eating healthy food; go for packaged junk. You’re going to need all the preservatives you can get.

66. You’ve reached the age when everything is now beginning to click. Your knees, your hips, your elbows…

67. Age is a relative thing. All your relatives keep reminding you how old you are.

68. Don’t let your age get you down. After all, at your age, it’s hard to get back up again.

69. Did you know that there’s a prize for getting older? Yep – you get atrophy.

70. You and wine are the perfect pair. Wine improves with age, and you improve with wine.

71. This whole birthday thing is getting old, don’t you think?

72. Age is a number – keep yours unlisted.

73. It’s your birthday – time to let you hair down!
Oh, wait… I forgot, you don’t have any.

74. “As you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” – Norman Wisdom

75. I’m not saying you’re old, but if you were whiskey you’d be expensive. Really, really expensive.

76. I didn’t get you anything for your birthday because I wasn’t sure what you wanted. At your age, it usually… Depends.

77. In wine years, you are extra fine.

78. You’ve still got everything you had 20 years ago.
It’s all just a little bit lower now.

79. You’ll still cut the mustard! You’ll just need a little help opening the jar.

80. At this age, when you roll a joint it’s probably just your ankle.

Gift ideas for someone who’s actually super old: 100th Birthday Gifts & Party Ideas for a Beloved Centenarian

Funny Birthday Wishes for Seniors

Humorous yet sweet birthday wishes for senior citizens (or those getting close to senior citizenship!).

81. They say that with old age comes wisdom. That must mean you’re the wisest person in the world!

82. I’m going to take you out to dinner for your birthday – do you think you can get us all the senior discount?!?

83. In whiskey years, you just got more delicious.

84. Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the more you have, the longer you live.

85. Getting older has some benefits… Call it a “senior moment” and you can get away with just about anything!

86. Congrats on reaching the wonder years! You wonder where your keys are, wonder what day it is, wonder where your car is parked…

87. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball

88. This year, may you always get up off the couch in two tries or less.

89. At least you’re not as old as you will be next year!

90. We’re going to try and get all the candles on your cake lit before the first ones burn down. Wish us better luck than last year!

91. May you get as much praise and attention on your birthday as the average millennial feels entitled to every day.

92. A very happy birthday to someone who is now taking drugs on their birthday for actual serious medical reasons.

93. Congratulations on being born!
A really, really long time ago.

94. The older you get, the better you get.
Unless you’re a banana.

Related: The Best Gifts for 90 Year Olds

95. “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?” – Satchel Paige

96. Happy birthday! Please accept my sincere condolences on your age.

97. I’ve heard it said that getting older is like living in a haunted house. There’s lots of noises and smells you just can’t explain.

98. For your birthday, I wanted to get you something to remind you of your youth. But they were all out of cave art and dinosaur bones, so I just got you this card. Happy birthday!

99. Happy birthday! But seriously, take it easy on the birthdays. Doctors agree that too many just might kill you.

100. “Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier

101. You’re not old. You’re a classic.

More funny birthday quotes: 100 Hilarious Quotes for DIY Birthday Cards

Funny Ways to Call Someone Old

Some of our favorite old age insults are just silly ways to call people old.

Here are some simple yet time-honored insults, affronts, and aspersions for old folks – in other words, good-old-fashioned name calling.

• Methuselah
• Overripe Avacado
• Vintage
• Raisin
• Fossil
• Over the Hill
• Geriatric
• Skinsag
• Slow Grandma (works for male or female)
• Old Coot
• Silver Top
• OAP (“Old Age Pensioner”)
• Fossilized Friend
• Dinosaur Enthusiast
• Living History Book
• Elderly Sage
• Prehistoric Pal
• Museum-worthy
• Ancient Mariner
• Weathered Wanderer
• Venerable Voyager
• Rustic Relic
• Wise Elder
• Young at Heart

Short Birthday Jokes for Adults

Let’s close with some simple old people roasts.

• You’ve been around so long, even the trees have wrinkles.
• You must have been one of the first to congratulate Moses on the Ten Commandments.
• So, how did they make the pyramids?
• Your childhood photos are ancient cave paintings.
• You’ve got more candles on your last birthday cake than there are stars in the sky.
• Age is just a number, and you’re so over it.
• When you were a kid, rainbows were in black and white.
• You’ve got more wrinkles than a pug in a windstorm.
• Back in your day, they didn’t have smartphones; they had stone tablets.
• You’ve seen so many birthdays; I bet you’ve forgotten half of them.
• Did you get scared when you used to hunt dinosaurs?
• You’re so old, your birth certificate is written in hieroglyphics.
• You’ve got more history than a history book.
• If age were a sport, you’d be the reigning champion.
• Will you tell me some stories about the Civil War?
• You’ve got so much wisdom; it’s a shame you can’t remember where you left your glasses.
• Do you remember when the wheel was invented?

Always remember to keep the tone light and ensure that the person being roasted is comfortable with these kinds of jokes.

That’s important because one of the marks of being an old person is being crochety sensitive.

The post 101 Best Old Age Jokes for Birthday Cards appeared first on All Gifts Considered.

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I am only a morning person on December 25th.

This Christmas, I am the gift. You’re welcome.

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if it runs out, I’ll drink the red. [we love this apron]

Dear Santa, I’m writing to let you know that I’ve been naughty — and it was worth it!

When you stop believing in Santa is when you start getting underwear!

You have such a pretty face, you should be on a Christmas card! — Elf

Time to get your “It’s just what I wanted” face on!

Stink. Stank. Stunk. – Mr. Grinch

Girl, you are sleighing.

Sleigh all day, then Cabernet.

Let’s get elfed up!

It’s the most wonderful time for a beer. [t-shirt here]

Will wrap for wine. [printable here]

Santa saw your Instagram, you are getting a Bible and clothes for Christmas. [ornament here]

Dear Santa, is it too late to be good?

Dear Santa, define naughty. [decor sign here]

Feast mode! [get the t-shirt]

Dear Santa, it was the cat. [this card is too cute]

Holidazed and confused.

But first, let me take an elfie. [these shirts would be perfect for photos]

Dear Santa, they are the naughty ones! [these would be fun for photos]

Here’s to hoping the reindeer eat the naughty list!

On the naughty list and we regret nothing.

May your family be functional and your batteries be included.

Naughty is the new nice.

Ho, ho, ho, pour that Merlot!

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year. — Victor Borge

Naughty or nice? Decisions, decisions…

Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gift with next year’s money.

Related: 100 Personalized Christmas Cards

Funny Christmas Card Ideas

Visual inspiration! These are perfect to send out to friends and family, to tag along with a Christmas present, or to deliver gift cards!

All I want for Christmas is Ewe

All I want for Christmas is ewe.

Happy Crimus, Merry Chrysler

It’s chrismum…

Whatever-mas

Merry Christmas. Or whatever. This is a free download and yours to enjoy!

You Otter Treat Each Other Real Good This Holiday Season

Merry Christmas to my significant otter.

Rudolph in a Blizzard

We know you laughed.

Mistletoad

No comment.

Rockin’ Christmas

Jingle bell rock.

At Least Golfers Will Appreciate It

A partridge on a par 3.

Bright & Yeti

May Your Days be Yeti and Bright.

Obligatory Christmas Card

We’re just checking off the list here, people. This is another free download for you to enjoy!

Book Lover’s Christmas Card

Wishing you a novel-ous holiday season! We love this li’l book Christmas tree.

Related: If you’re into reading, you’ll love to celebrate the Jolabokaflod tradition this Christmas

Let’s Be Honest…

Don’t pretend you don’t do this. Merry Pudmas, indeed.

The Red-nosed…Cow?

Moodolph. Not sure why that’s funny but it’s hilarious.

New traditions: 20 Elf on the Shelf Alternatives for Your Family

Elton John Holiday Card

Hold me closer, tiny Prancer.

Fra-Gee-Lay…

Fra-Gee-Lay… It Must be Italian! Happy Holidays!

‘Tis the season…ing

Oh, look, it’s Christmas thyme!

A Holiday Card for Dog Lovers

Dachshing through the snow. Because, you know, dachshunds.

The post 100 Funny Christmas Card Messages [Family Friendly] appeared first on All Gifts Considered.