But weddings are more than just cake and flowers; they’re crazy, beautiful adventures, and our wishes should reflect that, right? We certainly think so. 

Picture this: We’re not just aiming for a ‘congrats’ here; far from it. We’re ditching tired clichés and crafting well-wishes that resonate with the true love, shared laughter, and unique quirks that make the happy couple, well, them. 

A little tip right up front: If you want to make your wishes special, be sure to allow enough time. Personally, I know that every time I sit down to write out a wedding card, it takes me at least ten minutes to decide what I want to say. So, be proactive, and maybe don’t wait until you’re walking out the door to the ceremony.

Now — that being said — you don’t have to write a novel in their card. But you do want it to be heartfelt, however long or short.

Whether you plan on channeling your inner poet, comedian, or philosopher, your job is finding the right words to capture the essence of their new journey together. And, of course, to help them celebrate the lifetime of love which lies ahead.

So, grab a comfy seat and a cup of your favorite brew, and let’s cook up some wedding wishes that are as special and one-of-a-kind as the love story we’re toasting to. Ready for a ride through the heartfelt, the humorous, and the offbeat? Just sit tight; we’ve got all your bases covered. 

JUMP TO:
What to Write in a Wedding Card
Short Wedding Wishes
Wedding Day Congratulations
Wedding Wishes for a Friend
Best Wishes for Wedding Couples
Wedding Wishes for Sister
Wedding Wishes for Brother
Wedding Wishes for a Colleague
Funny Wedding Wishes
Wishes for Marriage Blessing
Wedding Wishes Images & Captions to Share

What to Write in a Wedding Card?

So what is a good message for a wedding card? Something simple and sweet, but ever so heartfelt is a great start! Whether you’re close friends and have known the couple for years, or only just met through your third cousin twice removed, tailor your handwritten message accordingly. 

For some expert insight on this topic, we asked Abhi Madan, Co-Founder and Creative Director of wedding and special occasion design house Amarra:

“Writing in a card involves [more] thought. Start with their names and a warm congratulations. Express your happiness for them and, most importantly, base it on your relationship with them, such as ‘Your love inspires me’ or ‘I am thrilled to witness your journey.’ An absolute ‘no’ would be speculating about future potential issues, like ‘hope you survive the in-laws.’

If you can’t attend the wedding, it’s essential to reassure the couple that your thoughts are with them: ‘Though I can’t be there physically, my heart celebrates this beautiful journey with you.’ Always sign off warmly. Remember, the goal is to provide comfort and joy.”

As you craft your sentiments, here’s a basic outline that you can personalize:

• Address the couple by their names (not just the one you know)
• Offer heartfelt congratulations
• Add a personal touch:
  • Advice or words of wisdom
  • Hopes for their new life together
  • Blessings
  • Scripture verses or other quotations
  • Special memories or stories
  • A description of your “I’m happy for you” emotions
• Don’t forget to sign!

Best Wedding Wishes

Toast to joyous beginnings, laughter-filled days, and a lifetime of shared adventures with these carefully curated wishes.

Whether you’re seeking heartfelt warmth, a touch of humor, or poetic elegance, our collection has the perfect sentiment for every couple’s special day. 

Short Wedding Wishes

Want to keep it short and sweet? You got it. Below we have the best ways to do so.

1. May your love burn brightly forever!

2. Happiest of days to the sweetest of couples.

3. We love married life and know you will, too!

4. We’re raising a glass to you two!

5. Here’s to a lifetime of wedded bliss.

6. May your years be blessed. 

7. Warmest wishes to you both on this special occasion.

8. Thank you for letting us be a part of your big day.

9. Hugs and kisses from us to you!

10. Life is better with someone by your side.

11. Tons of love for you today and always.

12. Love looks really great on the two of you.

13. It is a privilege to be part of your special day — congratulations!

14. Congratulations to the new Mr. and Mrs. 

15. First comes love, then comes marriage.

16. Happy day, my loves!

17. Congratulations on this new chapter of your story.

18. You make love look easy!

19. Congrats to the most perfect match!

20. What a day! Thanks for letting me share it with you.

Wedding Day Congratulations

For day-of “congrats” either verbal or in writing, we love these wedding messages.

21. Today is the beginning of forever. Happy wedding day!

22. I couldn’t dream up a lovelier day — congrats to my favorite pair of lovebirds!

23. Congratulations…on making me tear up! “Hear, hear” to the cutest couple in the world.

24. It’s your big day — congratulations and many well wishes!

25. Best wishes on such a beautiful union.

26. May the two of you continue to love unconditionally.Congratulations!

27. You did it! Congratulations, compliments, felicitations, and many happy returns! 

28. Your smiles are so bright today that they light up the whole room.

29. Months of planning resulted in a splendid day — xoxo!

30. Congratulations, to the new Mr. and Mrs! A lifetime of joy to you both!

31. You may kiss the bride! Congratulations and enjoy.

32. You two crazy cats did it! Wishing a happy life to you both.

33. The love you two share is evident to all. And now? Time to celebrate!

34. What a memory you two have made today — congratulations!

35. The day you’ve been waiting for is finally here. Congratulations!

36. Congratulations on this milestone in your adventure together!

37. You two are cutest when you’re side by side. Congrats!

38. You did it, you did it, you did it! I’m so happy for you both. You’ve each picked out a winner.

39. Together, may you experience beyond your imagination.

40. I couldn’t have done it better myself — way to go and happy wedding day!

Wedding Wishes for a Friend

It’s totally okay to include a line to your close friend but remember that this is part of the overall wedding message to both them and their new spouse.

Here are some ideas on what to say to your dear friend on their special day.

41. If I have to share you, I’m glad it’s with your new husband/wife! I guess. But you’re still my best friend.

42. Congratulations! Love, your favorite third wheel. 

43. I’m so proud of the man/woman you’ve become! And husband/wife, you are luckier than you know.

44. Thanks for inviting me to the best party ever! Oops, I meant your wedding. Congratulations!

45. I’ve been waiting for this day for forever! I’m rejoicing for the two of you that this day has finally arrived. You both have all my love.

46. Can’t wait to toast to you every anniversary for many years to come!

47. I couldn’t be prouder if I married you myself.

48. Congratulations and good luck to you both! I’m not crying, you’re crying!

49. So happy to have been a part of this monumental day!

50. Best wishes for a lifetime of happiness to the bestest of friends.

Best Wishes for Wedding Couples

Let the newly married couple know just how much you love them, are inspired by them, and are, of course, rooting for them. 

51. You did it! I’m so inspired that I might just try this marriage thing myself.

52. Can’t wait to see where life takes you both!

53. You two make the most pulchritudinous couple! (Look it up…)

54. I just have one thing to say: finally!

55. Congratulations to the most lovely couple, and best wishes for your years together.

56. I’m so excited to see where this adventure takes you!

57. Giddy with happiness for the both of you!

58. Congratulations and best wishes to a very inspiring and much-loved couple!

59. I never thought soulmates were a thing until I saw you together. What a great way to prove true love exists!

60. You two go together like peanut butter and chocolate!

Here are 100+ more “go together like…” quotes to further inspire your wedding wishes.

Lovely Love Fact:

The longest marriage, according to the Guinness World Records, lasted 86 years and 290 days. Zelmyra and Herbert Fisher were married in 1924 when they were 16 and 18 respectively.

DailyCitizen

Wedding Wishes for Sister

Sisters are so special, and if you want to give her a separate note of congrats on her new spouse and warmest wishes (or a decent dose of teasing), we love these messages.

61. If I have to share you with someone, I will begrudgingly take him/her.

62. Congratulations! Too bad sleepovers are gonna be awkward now, though.

63. It’s your day, Sister! I’m so proud of you and the woman you’ve become.

64. I’m not crying, you’re crying.

65. We’ve been planning this day for decades — I’m so happy to see it come true!

66. You got yourself a good one, Sis! 

67. I’m not one to be all mushy romantic, but OMG LOVE IS THE BEST!

68. To the sister who has always wanted the best for me — you deserve so much joy and love! Today especially.

69. You’re the most beautiful bride that I’ve ever seen. May you continue to glow throughout your married life!

70. I’ve never been more proud (or cried harder)! Congratulations, Sis!

Wedding Wishes for Brother

Brothers are one-of-a-kind, are they not? Some are serious and protective, others are total goofballs. Others still are a great mix of the two!

Here are some one-of-a-kind wishes for your Bro on his big day.

71. Hey, who knew you cleaned up so well? Congratulations!

72. What a beautiful celebration! So proud to call you my brother, and wishing you all the best.

73. Woah, who is that resplendent and stunningly good-looking man standing at the altar? IT’S MY BROTHER, THAT’S WHO!

74. Congratulations to the handsome groom, from the far more handsome brother.

75. Way to go, bro! I guess you had some rizz, after all. Thanks for the new family member!

76. You’re so much less embarrassing to be seen with now that you have a gorgeous wife.

77. I’m proud of the man you’ve become, Brother! I know you’ll take good care of her.

78. She got herself a good man. Congratulations!

79. Best wishes for many years of wedded bliss to come, Bro!

80. I remember when we were small — now look at you! Standing at the altar and everything! 

Wedding Wishes for a Colleague

The day has come and that work bestie is finally tying the knot! If you want to congratulate them well, we suggest wedding wishes somewhere along these lines.

81. Lots of love and warm wishes to a man/woman I admire so much!

82. It’s been inspiring and wonderful to be a small part of your love story.

83. Congratulations! You will be at the office tomorrow, right?

84. Best wishes to a lovely couple! This is a day you’ll always remember, so soak in every moment!

85. What a wonderful day! Couldn’t have happened to a nicer couple. 

86. Congratulations, you two sweet things!

87. What a perfect ceremony — thank you for letting me be part of your special day. 

88. I am looking forward to witnessing your marriage and the joy that comes from it!

89. I love a good reason to have cake, so thanks for falling in love!

90. Best wishes to my favorite coworker ever.

Neat Nuptial Nugget:

The largest wedding on record was that of V.N. Sudhakaran and N. Sathyalakshmi whose reception hosted 150,000 people in India in 1995.

https://www.prestigeonline.com

Funny Wedding Wishes

If you’d rather make them laugh than cry, we love these witty one-liners and hilarious messages.

91. Still can’t believe she said yes. 

92. You make love look…well, kinda gross actually. Y’all are so adorable it’s a little nauseating. I’d better go drink some more of your wine to settle my stomach.

93. Ewwwww, romance. Well, if it works for you two…

94. Marriage is basically just yelling “WHAT?” from different rooms of the house until one of you dies. Have fun, you two!

95. I’m so happy that you two found each other. You know, instead of other things like drugs or booze.

96. What an emotional day! Even the cake is in tiers.

97. Looks like the King of Hearts has married his Queen of Hearts. You’re perfectly suited for each other!

98. “To keep your marriage brimming with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.” — Ogden Nash

99. I’m just here for the cake.

Wishes for Marriage Blessing

Weddings call for blessings, and it’s an age-old tradition to do so. These blessings double as the perfect wedding wishes.

100.”May the meaning of this hour be fulfilled through the days and years to come. May the love of this man and this woman, their unity of spirit, grow deeper and stronger in the uncertainties and changes of life they will share. Loving each other, may they love all persons. Trusting each other, may they learn to trust life.” — Traditional Irish Wedding Blessing 

101. May the Lord bless you and keep you, make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you, lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace…as long as you both shall live!

Wedding Wishes Images & Captions to Share

Wedding Card Etiquette

Bring the card to the wedding. It’s a faux pas for sure to show up to a wedding without a gift. If your card is the gift, be sure to include a check (not cash, since a check can be traced but if cash gets stolen, that’s it) and place it in the designated location for cards.

If you can’t attend the wedding, mail a card. You can do this anytime after receiving the invitation up to a month after the big day. Don’t focus on why you can’t attend, just congratulate the happy couple and wish them well!

Address the wedding card to both people. Don’t make the mistake of only addressing your card to the one person you know. Be sure to say “Jim and Pam” or “To the newlyweds.”

Write a personal note. Don’t just ink in your name after the pre-printed message! Add your own wedding wishes to make it meaningful. Keep it short, but from the heart. See above!

Use humor sparingly. Especially the jaded, caustic brand of “ball and chain” jesting. Avoid divorce jokes completely. This is a happy day to celebrate the beauty of the couple’s relationship and great hopes for their future.

Express congratulations. That’s the main point! You could also include any combination of words of wisdom, hopes for their future together, blessings, Scripture verses, romantic quotes, memories, descriptions of your joyful feelings, and more. But the main thing is to wish them well and congratulate them.

Sign your name. Make it legible enough to read!

Read Next: 50 Best Wedding Gift Ideas

The post 101 Best Wedding Wishes, Messages & Congratulations appeared first on All Gifts Considered.

Whether you’re a seasoned connoisseur or just enjoy a casual sip, you’ll find that the world of wine is not only about swirling and sipping, but also about some seriously entertaining and thought-provoking quotes. Waxing philosophical and all that.

Join us as we pop the cork on a bottle of linguistic joy, exploring quotes that capture the essence of wine, from the hilarious musings of modern enthusiasts to the poetic reflections of those who’ve been raising a glass for centuries.

At Northwest Gifts, some of our most enduringly popular items are from our Wine Décor collection, and we also love customizing our premium personalized glassware for your home bar, wedding, or gift-giving needs.

Due to or familiarity with the world of wine, it should be no surprise that we’ve come across plenty of inspirational, fun, and classy wine quotes.

Grab your favorite glass, because we’re about to embark on a journey through the vineyard of wit and wisdom, where the nectar of the gods meets the art of language.

Below we’ve selected 20+ of the most classy wine quotes of all time in attractive fonts for you to share and showcase your love of wine. Perhaps you will even be inspired to add some of these to your own home bar décor. Enjoy!

JUMP TO:

Top Wine quotes
Quotes About Wine and Friends
Love and Wine Quotes
Funny Wine Quotes

Top Twenty Wine Quotes

From the profound to the downright hilarious, the world of wine quotes is a treasure trove of insights that resonate with enthusiasts and connoisseurs alike.

So, grab a glass and get ready to toast to the top 20 best wine quotes that encapsulate the spirit, humor, and timeless charm of great wine. 

1. Better With Time

Love, like wine, gets better with time.

2. Bottled Poetry

Wine is bottled poetry.
Robert Louis Stevenson

3. Great Blend

Wine & friends are a great blend.
Ernest Hemingway

Related gift ideas: 100 of the Best Gifts for Friends

4. Everything Old

I love everything that is old; old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wines.
Oliver Goldsmith, The Vicar of Wakefield

5. Hidden Secrets

Wine brings to light the hidden secrets of the soul.
Horace

6. Wine as an Object

Wine is not just an object of pleasure, but an object of knowledge; and the pleasure depends on the knowledge.
Roger Scruton

7. A Lifestyle of Wine

Wine is a lifestyle.

8. Connoisseur

The connoisseur does not drink wine but tastes of its secrets.
Salvador Dali

9. Elixir of Life

Wine is, perhaps, the closest thing the planet has to an elixir of life.
Thom Elkjer

10. Sunlight Held Together by Water

Wine is sunlight held together by water.
Galileo

11. Four Things

Age appears best in four things: Old wood to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust and old authors to read.
Francis Bacon

12. Footloose Upon the Earth

Now is the time for drinking, now is the time to dance footloose upon the earth.
Horace

13. Friends & Wine

Friends and wine… the older, the better.

14. Passport

Wine is a passport to the world.
Thom Elkjer

15. The Civilized Thing

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world.
Ernest Hemingway

16. The Whole Bottle

All wines should be tasted. Some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.
Paulo Coelho

17. This Home

This home runs on love, laughter, and really good wine.

18. Made By God

Beer is made by men, wine by God.
Martin Luther

Related: Wine of the Month Club Review & Unboxing

19. The Best Wines, Together

The best wines are the ones we drink together.

20. The Solution

According to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.

Quotes About Wine and Friends

Like a well-aged Cabernet, the camaraderie among companions who have weathered the storms of life takes on a depth that only years of shared experiences can impart.

In this section, we pour ourselves into the heartwarming elixir of fine wine and friendship. Picture those evenings when the clink of glasses not only resonates through the room but also evokes a symphony of shared tales, inside jokes, and the silent understanding that only old friends can share.

As with Wine…

“As in the case of wines that improve with age, the oldest friendships ought to be the most delightful.” — Marcus Tullius Cicero

Friends and Wine

“What though youth gave love and roses, age still leaves us friends and wine.”
— Thomas Moore

Prized Vintage

“If friendship was wine, you’d be the most prized vintage.” — Unknown

Take Counsel

“Take counsel in wine and good friends, but resolve afterwards in water.”
— Benjamin Franklin

Wine, Cheese, & Friends Stemless Glasses

What better way to celebrate your love of wine and friendship than with a beautiful pair of stemless wine glasses? Keep one for yourself and gift the other to your favorite partner in wine.

Buy Now

We earn a commission if you make a purchase, at no additional cost to you.

Wine About It

“Some days you just need to grab a good friend and a favorite vintage, and wine about life for a while.” — Unknown

Cheese, Wine, & Friends

“Cheese, wine, and friends must be old to be good.” — Cuban Proverb

Pour a Glass

“Pilates class?! I thought you said pour a glass…” — Unknown

Read Next: 21 Best Coasters for Gifting (or for yourself)

Love and Wine Quotes

Alright, buckle up for a ride through the lovey-dovey stuff, the romantic wine quotes — where good wine meets good company, and hearts skip a beat or two.

We’re not talking about snooty tastings; we’re diving into the kind of love that pairs perfectly with a good vintage and the even better company of your favorite person.

Here’s to the heart of man, unfiltered and uncorked, finding its rhythm in the delightful chaos of laughter, shared stories, and, of course, a bottle (or two) of vino.

All Mortals

“We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine.”
— Eduardo Galeano

Wine and Sighs

“Wine enters through the mouth,
Love, the eyes.
I raise the glass to my mouth,
I look at you,
and I sigh.”
— William Butler Yeats

Like Good Wine

“May our love be like good wine, growing stronger as it grows older.” — English Toast

Love Goes Hungry

“Without bread and wine, love goes hungry.” — Latin Proverb

To Fall in Love, Drink This: A Wine Writer's Memoir

$12.19

Equal parts insightful and introspective, Alice Feiring's latest book is a refreshingly grounded addition to the genre of wine-writing. Named a Best Wine Book of 2022 by The New York Times, Forbes, and The Washington Post

Buy Now

We earn a commission if you make a purchase, at no additional cost to you.

11/16/2024 05:30 pm GMT

Vows Made in Wine

“I pray you do not fall in love with me, for I am falser than vows made in wine.” — William Shakespeare

Allies

“It warms the blood, adds luster to the eyes, and wine and love have ever been allies.” — Ovid

Its Own Grapes

“What I do and what I dream include thee, as the wine must taste of its own grapes.” — Elizabeth Barrett Browning

No Wine, No Love

“Where there is no wine, there is no love.” — Euripides

Funny Wine Quotes

In the world of vino, laughter flows as freely as the libation itself. So, get ready to raise your glass and unleash your inner sommelier of humor as we dive into the top funny wine quotes that will have you sipping and snickering in equal measure.

Cooking with wine…

“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” — W.C. Fields

A Rosy Future

“Nothing makes the future look so rosy as to contemplate it through a glass of Chambertin.” — Napoleon Bonapart

Just a Number

“Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine.” — Joan Collins

Wine, Poetry, or Virtue?

“One should always be drunk. That’s all that matters…But with what? With wine, with poetry, or with virtue, as you chose. But get drunk.” — Charles Baudelaire

Life’s Pleasures

“Drinking good wine with good food in good company is one of life’s most civilized pleasures.” — Michael Broadbent

Siko Burlap Wine Bags

$13.99

Looking for a fun and reusable gift to pair with a bottle of wine? One of these burlap wine bags would be just the thing, and they'll get a chuckle out of it, too.

Buy Now

We earn a commission if you make a purchase, at no additional cost to you.

11/16/2024 05:29 pm GMT

It’s Time

“I shall drink no wine before it’s time! Okay, it’s time.” — Groucho Marx

Eloquence

“A man will be eloquent if you give him good wine.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Cures vs Happiness

“Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy.” — Alexander Fleming

Regrets

“My only regret in life is that I did not drink more wine.” — Ernest Hemingway

The post The 20+ Most Classy Wine Quotes of All Time appeared first on All Gifts Considered.

It’s up to you, but you can guess what we recommend.

If you make a card yourself, not only does it give the card that extra-special feel, but they might actually think you came up with the quote on your own. 

We’ll let them think that; no need to spoil a good thing. And you obviously need all the help you can get.

Just kidding…

Kind of.

Anyways, we tallied up these funny birthday wishes, and realized we had over one hundred of them! You’re welcome to count them for yourself, but there are a lot of them, and they’re all golden. Be inspired!

Also, note that these are all pretty clean. Mostly G, a few PG. A few jokes about butts, getting drunk, mild insults, old people body humor, that sort of thing.

We like to keep it 90-95% family-friendly with nothing overly suggestive or obscene. It’s all a matter of opinion, of course, but these are generally PG or under.

So without further ado, here are 100+ hilariously funny birthday quote ideas for DIY cards.

Our website is supported by our users. We sometimes earn a commission when you click through the affiliate links on our website. See our privacy policy & disclosures for more information.

100+ Funny Birthday Card Quotes

So, what to write in a funny birthday card? Here’s what we’ve got for you, sorted into easy-to-navigate categories:

Anyone, Anytime — Funny birthday wishes for your friends, family members, significant others, you name it. And at any stage of life, young or old.

Art Puns — With a bit of basic art skills, you can use these quotes and ideas to create a truly punny and great birthday card for their big day.

Old Age — You know, old people jokes. Making fun of getting older. Perfect for your old man or that best friend that just trekked over the hill.

Let’s Get Smashed — Self-explanatory, but I’ll explain it anyways: Funny birthday messages about  celebratory beverages and the quantity thereof.

Heartwarming — By which we mean “heartwarming,” with rather heavy air quotes.

DIY Card Ideas & Supplies — Sure, you have some funny things to say in a birthday card now, but do you have something to write them on? Yeah, that’s what we thought.

Anyone, Anytime — DIY Funny Birthday Cards

Here are some guffaw-inducing birthday card quotes and best wishes for just about anyone at any season of their life.

Great for a good laugh, or potentially a sneer and a “Really?” from the recipient. If you came here wondering what to write in a funny birthday card, you’re in the right place.

1. Nothing Butt the Best

Wishing you nothing butt the best… Happy Birthday!

2. Two Tips

“I have two tips for you on your birthday. 1) Forget the past, you can’t change it. 2) Forget the present, I didn’t get you one.”

3.  Scientifically Proven

It’s been scientifically proven that those who have more birthdays live longer.

4. Walk Through Fire

I’d walk through fire for you. Well, not fire, because it’s dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair.  

5.  Famous People

There were a lot of famous people born on your birthday. Inside: Too bad you’re not one of them.

6. This One

What’s a birthday card without money inside? Inside: This one.

7. # Five

Four out of five people get money in their birthday cards. Inside: Happy birthday from #5!

Find it here.

8. Assassins

Happy Birthday! Here’s to another year of successfully evading my assassins. 

9. No Money

There’s Absolutely No Money in This Card  

10. Cake…

I’m just here for the cake.  

11. If You Lick the Frosting

If you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin, and muffins are healthy.  

Find it here.

12. Birthdays are Good for You

Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.  

13. Mmmm K?

Yeaahhhh… I just wanted to say happy birthday, and if you can come into work that would great. Mmm K.

Related Article: 21 Awesome Employee Gifts for Your Small Business 

14.  Rubber Sack of My Breath

Balloons are so weird. “Happy Birthday, here’s a rubber sack of my breath!”

15. Escape from the Womb

It’s the anniversary of your daring and clever escape from the womb!

16. Get Out of the Mailbox!

I wanted to send you something (sexy, incredible, awesome, amazing, etc.) but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox.

17. Questionable Decisions

It’s your birthday! Let’s party and make questionable decisions.  

18. Only Present You Need

Knowing someone as awesome as me should be the only present you need.  

19. Tolerate 

Happy Birthday to one of the few people I can actually tolerate on a daily basis.

20. It’s Today?!

Your birthday is today?! Inside: Falsehood. Today is the anniversary of your birthday.

21. Oldest You’ve Ever Been

Today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be again. 

22. Rusty

You’re not old, just a little rusty. Happy Birthday.

23. Idiot Card 

To Do List: Give birthday card to idiot  

24. I Really Hope…

I really hope you like this gift that you specifically told me to buy for you.

25. Entire Birthday Cake

While you were reading this card I ate your entire birthday cake.  

26. Also Your Present

This is more than a birthday card. Inside: It is also your present.

You May Also Enjoy: Happy Belated Birthday- What to Do & Say When You’ve Blown It

27. Celebrate Your Existence 

Let us celebrate your existence with cake. And possibly ice cream. And maybe balloons.

28. Buttloads

Have Buttloads of Fun On Your Birthday!

Art Puns — DIY Funny Birthday Cards

These funny happy birthday messages require just a bit of basic artwork. If you have decent drawing skills, use them to create your own humorous greeting card!

29. Succ Cards

(Succulents) I hope your birthday doesn’t succ.

30. Melon

(Watermelon slice) You’re one in a melon!

31. Beer-thday

(Beer) Happy Beer-thday!  

32. Little Pea

(Cute little pea) Hap-pea birthday!  

33. Sherbert Day

(Ice cream cone) Go Shawty! It’s Sherbert Day!

34. Herds 

(Cows) Herd it’s your birthday…

35. Duh. Duh. DUUUH

(Grim Reaper) See you soon!

36. On Point!

(Cactus) I hope your birthday is on point!

37. In Dog Years…

(Dog) In dog years you would be dead!

38. Eggcellent

(Eggs) I hope your birthday is eggcellent.

39. Wine Years

(Wine) In wine years you are extra fine.  

Related Article: 21st Birthday Gift Ideas for Making Memories

40. Oranges

(Orange) Orange you glad it’s your birthday!

41. Cheesy 

(Cheese) I got you this cheesy birthday card…  

42. Another Year

Another Year Closer.

43.What is Age?

(Elephant) Age is irr-elephant.  

44. Espresso 

(Coffee mug) Words cannot espresso how much you mean to me.  

45. Main Squeeze

(Lemon) Happy birthday to my main squeeze!

46. Lettuce Together

(Lettuce) Lettuce celebrate your birthday!  

47. Carrots

(Carrot) You are old, but I don’t carrot all!  

48. Piece of Me

(Cake with boxing gloves) You wanna piece of me?!

49. Ribbit Ribbit

(Frog) Hoppy birthday!

50. Fans

(Fan) Have a fan-tastic birthday!

51. Tea

(Tea cup) Happy birthday, best-tea!  

52. Aged Cheese

(Cheese) You’re aged to perfection.  

53. Pop Pop

(Popcorn) I hope your birthday is poppin’!

Because puns obviously go with practical things: 10 Practical Gifts (That People Actually Love)

Old Age — DIY Funny Birthday Cards

These are the funny happy birthday wishes you use for anyone who is getting up there in years. Or just that middle age good friend who seems a little more achy than they used to be…

Perfect for your crotchety old grandpa who happens to be the birthday boy, or for your fun aunt who is nearing retirement. Or for basically anyone over twenty-one.

If you’re looking for age-related funny things to write in a birthday card, you’ve just found a treasure trove.

55. Feel Bad

I’m not going to make any age jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.

56. Not Saying

Look, I’m not saying you are old… but if you were milk, I’d sniff you first.

I got you this card because it matches your hair.

57. Again?

Happy “30th” birthday! Inside: Again…

Related Article: 30th Birthday Gifts Ideas for Her, for Him, & for Fun

58. Another Lie

Happy 29th birthday! Inside: From your 110lb friend.

Related Article: 10 Best Gifts for 20 Year Olds

59. Hangovers

Your hangovers are About to get so much worse.

60. Should be Illegal

It Should be Illegal to Look This Good at 69.

Related Article: 60th Birthday Gift Ideas for Women and Men

61. Even More Lies

In this card, I’m going to share the secret to staying young. Inside: Lie about your real age.  

62. Turning 40

Thanks for Turning 40 Before Me!  

You May Also Enjoy: 40th Birthday Gift Ideas for Women, Men, Bff’s, & More

63. Medical Reasons

A very happy birthday to someone who is now taking drugs on their birthday for actual serious medical reasons.

64. Vintage

Mom, Dad, brother, sister… You’re not old, you’re vintage. **wink**

Related: 50th Birthday Gifts for Dads

65. Eat Cake

The more you weigh the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, eat cake. 

66. Candles

You know you’re getting old when the cake isn’t large enough to hold all the birthday candles.

You May Also Enjoy: 70th Birthday Gifts that Are Meaningful & Memorable

67. Cost of Candles

You know you’re old when the candles start costing more than the cake.

Related: 50th Birthday Wishes

68. Being Born 

Congratulations on being born… a really long time ago.  

69. Retro

You’re not old, you’re retro.

70. Dog Years

How old would you even be in dog years…like, 900?

71. Whiskey Years

In whiskey years, you just got more delicious.  

72. Just a Number

Age is just a number. (In your case, a really big one.)  

73. Spoiled Milk

I’m not saying you’re old – I’m just saying that if you were milk I’d smell you before I poured you on my cereal. Just to be safe-ish.

74. Bananas 

The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.  

75. Next Year

At least you aren’t as old as you will be next year.  

76. Handrail 

Congrats on being one year closer to needing a handrail in the shower.  

77. Officially Too Old

You’re officially too old to drop it like it’s hot. So how about you just sit down like it’s warm.  

78. Kinda Old

You are getting kinda old. Inside: It’s ok, I still like you anyways.  

79. New Skills

With old age comes new skills. Inside: You can now cough, laugh, sneeze, and pee yourself all at the same time!

80. Fire Hazard

Your birthday is becoming a serious fire hazard.

81. Smells…

Smells like old people. Inside: Oh wait, that’s you… Happy Birthday!

82. Hair?

It’s Your Birthday, Time to Let Your Hair Down…

Inside: Oh wait! Sorry, for a second I forgot you don’t have any left.

Related: 80th Birthday Gift Guide

Let’s Get Smashed — DIY Funny Birthday Cards

Here are some funny birthday sayings for your drinking buddies and BFFs.

The only thing you need to do is interchange your favorite drink, cocktail, or spirit with almost any of these to perfectly tailor the card to the recipient.

83. Jagerbombs

You know what rhymes with with twenty? Jagerbombs. (Or wine, whiskey, beer, etc.)

84. Extra Fine

In wine years you are an extra fine wine.  

85. Rum Cake

Happy birthday! I was going to bake you a delicious rum cake, but I decided to go with a regular cake. Also, I’m really drunk.  

86. Happy Drunk

Happy drunk! Let’s get birthday.  

87. Best Cure

Wine is the best cure for birthdays.  

88. Glasses

At your age, you need glasses. Inside: Wine glasses.  

P.S. This GREAT product will match perfectly with this card ?

89. Very Close Second

If I had to choose between you and wine, you would be a very close second.  

90. Not Saying…

I’m Not Saying You’re Old But… If You Were Whiskey You Would Be Really Expensive.  

91. Drink Anyways

Happy Birthday! (I was going to drink anyways)  

92. Grain of Salt

Take every birthday with a grain of salt. Inside: This works much better if the salt accompanies a large margarita.

Related: 21 Margarita Gift Ideas

Heartwarming — DIY Funny Birthday Cards

Ahh, love. The love that only siblings or besties can share. If you’re looking for a “heartfelt message” or something “sentimental” and “truly meaningful,” look no further.

If you can share such tender intimacies as these with your true friend or family member, you have a relationship to treasure.

Any one of these hilarious birthday wishes would make for a perfect card for their birthday celebration.

93. Jellyfish

I would pee on a jellyfish sting for you…

94. What More?

You Already Have Me. What More Could You Wish For?

95. Rude

Rude that you are younger than me, but okay…

96. Let’s See…

Ok let’s see how this goes. Pretend you are reading something very personal that I wrote in this card. After a few moments, laugh like I wrote something hilarious. Maybe tip back your head and laugh. You know, really sell it.

Now nod your head as though I wrote something very serious and heartwarming. Hold your hand to your heart and sigh, but don’t overdo it. Now close the card, look at me, and mouth the words, “thank you.”

97. Hardly Annoying

Happy Birthday, little brother/sister!! You’re hardly annoying at all anymore!  

98. So There’s That

You’re still younger than me, so there’s that…

99. Fiancée 

I think me being you Fiancée is enough of a gift.

100. You Mean so Much

Because you mean so much to me I got you this piece of paper that’s folded in half. Inside: I even signed it.  

101. Greatest Sister

Happy birthday to a brother that has the world’s greatest sister! (Or mom/son, dad/daughter, sister/sister, etc.)

102. Good Genes

I’m sorry I got all the good genes. Happy Birthday, Brother! (or sister)

103. No Room

Outside: [Whatever you want… see any of the above quotes] 

Inside: Aww dang! All these words fill up the card and there’s no place for me to write something personal about our friendship.

I was going to write something about that time we did the thing… Golly that was going to be so cool. Maybe I’ll write about it on the back of this card. Yeah, I’m definitely going to do that.

Flip over the card and let’s get the nostalgia started. 

Back: Are you kidding me? There’s not even any space on the back of this card to write something personal?

Sheesh… Hmm. Well, now that I think about it, I probably should have bought a different card with more room to write about just how much you mean to me.  

Read next: How to Give Thoughtful Gifts

DIY Card Ideas & Supplies

So you’ve found the perfect funny birthday quotes for your card, but the fact remains… you don’t actually have a card. Yet.

Check out these DIY card ideas and supplies and you’ll be well on your way to a card that’s just as good as any gift!

10 Pun Cards for Beginners

These funny pun cards are perfect, even if you’re a novice artist. You can apply the same principles to the funny birthday quotes above, too.

Blank Cards

If you plan to be making all of your own cards in the future, then consider investing in a stockpile of blank cards and envelopes like these super affordable ones!

You can have 30 blank canvases to work with (and fill with hilarity) for the cost of a single card at the grocery store. Sounds like a win-win to us.

Paint Pens

These acrylic paint markers will up your card making game in no time! Who knows, maybe you’ve been a Picasso all along and you just didn’t know it?

Origami Card

They’ll be so impressed by your Origami skills, they might forget to laugh at your funny birthday quotes!

Colored Card Stock Paper

Some colorful card stock would be a perfect start to making your one-of-a-kind creation (after you decide what to write in your funny birthday card, of course).

Choose their favorite color for an extra personal touch.

Toilet Paper Roll Card

No card stock or blank cards lying around? No worries. Make ’em a card out of a used TP roll. Genius.

And there you have it! Our compilation of over one hundred funny things to write in a birthday card was pretty stupendous, if we do say so ourselves.

Looking for some fabulous DIY gift ideas, too? We got you…

Read Next: 25 Best DIY Birthday Gifts

The post 100 Hilarious Quote Ideas for Funny DIY Birthday Cards appeared first on All Gifts Considered.

Copy and paste.

Scarlett & Rhett.

PB & J.

If you’re looking for the “perfect pair” of things that go together, we’ve gotcha covered.

Here are over one hundred of the best “we go together like…” quotes. These are great for celebrating romance and friendship alike, with a dash of cutesy humor.

Our website is supported by our users. We sometimes earn a commission when you click through the affiliate links on our website. See our privacy policy & disclosures for more information.

Best We Go Together Like Quotes

We’ve divided our collection of two things that go together funny quotes into sections for couples and for BFFs.

However, aside from a few romantic-type quotes, most of these can be applied to either couples or besties, so be sure to read through both lists.

We Go Together Like Quotes for Couples

So you think you’re the perfect couple? Try these romantic similes!

We go together like…

• Adam & Eve
• Aloo & gobi
• Antony & Cleopatra
• Arts & crafts
• A bushel & a peck
• A wink & a smile
• Bed & breakfast
• Bonnie & Clyde
• Bread & butter
• Campfires & smores
• Coffee & cream
• Cookies & milk

We go together like…

• Copy & paste
• Cory & Topanga
• Cupcakes & frosting
• Dandelions & daydreams
• Darcy & Elizabeth
• Disney & happily ever after
• Fish & chips
• G’day & mate
• Han & Leia
• Hanky & panky
• Homer & Marge
• Hot chocolate & marshmallows
• Hugs & kisses
• Jim & Pam
• Lightning & thunder
• Lois & Clark
• Macaroni & cheese
• Marshall & Lily
• Meat & potatoes
• Monica & Chandler
• The moon & the stars
• Needle & thread
• Netflix & chill
• Noah & Allie
• Nutella & anything
• Nutella & a spoon
• One & the same
• Pad & thai
• Peaches & cream

We go together like…

• Peanut butter & jelly
• Peas & carrots
• Pieces of a puzzle
• R & R
• Red on a rose
• Rey & Kylo
• Romeo & Juliet
• Ron & Hermione
• Rose & Jack
• Salt & pepper
• Shampoo & conditioner
• Spaghetti & meatballs
• Superman & Lois Lane
• Tacos & Tuesdays
• Tarzan & Jane
• Tea & cookies
• Tea & crumpets
• Tikka & masala
• William & Kate

Related: 20 Uniquely Romantic Quotes for Your Soulmate

We Go Together Like Quotes for Besties

What two things go together perfectly? You and me.

BFFs are two of a kind. Although sometimes besties can be total opposites. Or troublemakers.

We go together like…

• … it or not
• Alcohol & bad decisions
• An old lady & 27 cats
• Anne & Diana
• Avacado & toast
• A quiet room & a fart
• Bacon & eggs
• Bacon & anything
• Bait & switch
• Bathtubs & toasters
• Ben & Jerry
• Betty & Veronica
• Breaking & entering
• Cain & Abel
• Calvin & Hobbes
• Cheech & Chong
• Chinese food & chocolate pudding
• Chips & dips
• CID & logic
• Clowns & crying children
• Control & status register
• Cod & swallop
• Cops & robbers
• Cops & donuts
• Diablo & Red Bull
• Drunk & disorderly
• Feet & Legos
• Fiddles & sticks
• Fire & brimstone
• Forks & power outlets
• Frodo & Sam
• Gin & tonic
• Hamilton & Burr
• Hipsters & Sriracha
• Lipstick & leopard print
• Lo & behold
• Mary Kate & Ashley
• Mentos & coke
• Odds & ends
• Oil & water
• Orange juice & toothpaste
• Pina coladas & tiny umbrellas
• Pumpkin & spice
• R2D2 & C3PO
• Rama lama lama ka dinga da dinga dong
• Rock & roll
• Robin Hood & Little John
• Rocket & Groot
• Rum & coke
• Salt & vinegar
• Scout & Boo
• Search & destroy
• Shake & bake
• Sharks & tornadoes
• Sherlock & Watson
• Shock & awe
• Smoke & fire
• SpongeBob & Patrick
• Sugar & spice
• Taco Bell & the runs
• Tesla & Edison
• Tequila & lime
• Timon & Pumbaa
• Tom Hanks & a volleyball
• Tom & Huck
• Tonya Harding & Nancy Kerrigan
• TP & #2
• Trucks & mud
• Two peas in a pod
• Unicorns & glitter
• Wile E. Coyote & Road Runner
• Wine & cheese
• Woody & Buzz
• Your face & a wall
• Zebras & stripes

Read next: The Couple’s Gift Guide

You are the __ to My __ Quotes

Here’s a fun variation on the “we go together like…” phrase.

You are the…

• Bomb to my diggity
• Candy to my cane
• Flip to my flop
• Froot to my loops
• Ghetto to my booty
• Ginger to my bread
• Hanky to my panky
• Heart to my beat
• Ice to my cream
• Icing to my cake
• Lolly to my pop
• Milky to my way
• Mis to my chief
• Non to my sense
• Peanut to my butter
• Rock to my roll
• She to my nanigans
• Star to my burst
• Straw to my berry
• Sweet to my savory
• Wi to my fi
• Window to my walls, the sweat to my…. you know.

And don’t forget the all time classic…

You’re the key to my heart.

Foods That Go Together

Certain flavors complement each other so well that they take on an iconic status. Let’s take a look at the most popular foods that go together like salt and pepper, bacon and eggs, cookie dough and a spoon…

• Bacon and eggs
• Beans and rice
• Biscuits and gravy
• Bread and butter
• Chicken and dumplings
• Fish and chips
• Grilled cheese and tomato soup
• Ham and cheese
• Ketchup and mustard
• Macaroni and cheese
• Meat and potatoes
• Peanut butter and jelly
• Pork and beans
• Soup and salad
• Spaghetti and meatballs
• Strawberries and cream

More Things That Go Together

In linguistics, a collocation is the habitual juxtaposition of one specific word with another. In other words, things which are incomplete without each other.

Here are more inseparable pairs examples:

• Bells and whistles
• Black and white
• Bright and early
• By and large
• Calm and collected
• Cease and desist
• Champagne and caviar
• Chaos and confusion
• Cloak and dagger
• Crisp and clean
• Cut and dried
• Down and out
• Fair and square
• Fast and furious
• First and foremost
• Flesh and blood
• Free and easy
• Gloom and doom
• Hale and hearty
• Hammer and nail
• High and dry
• Huff and puff
• Hustle and bustle
• Jot and tittle
• Kith and kin
• Law and order
• Leaps and bounds
• Live and learn
• Lock and key
• Lost and found
• Movers and shakers
• Neat and tidy
• Nook and cranny
• Nuts and bolts
• Peace and quiet
• Pencil and paper
• Pins and needles
• Plain and simple
• Pots and pans
• Rock and hard place
• Safe and sound
• Sick and tired
• Smoke and mirrors
• Spick and span
• Stars and planets
• Stars and stripes
• Thick and thin
• Time and again
• Tooth and nail
• Pickled and pink
• Trial and error
• Up and running
• Wine and dine

Three Things That Go Together

That’s right, we’re going there. Not one, not two, but three things that go together! Inseparable trios, triads, and triplets! Threesomes, trinities, and thriples!

Ok, enough of that. Here are popular examples of three things that go together:

• Bacon, lettuce, and tomato
• Beg, borrow, or steal
• Blood, sweat, and tears
• Eat, drink, and be merry
• Faith, hope, and charity
• Father, Son, and Holy Spirit
• Hook, line, and sinker
• Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness
• Live, laugh, love
• Lock, stock, and barrel
• Mind, body, and spirit
• Morning, noon, and night
• Past, present, and future
• Ready, set, go
• Ready, willing, and able
• Red, white, and blue
• Rinse, lather, repeat
• See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil
• Tall, dark, and handsome
• The good, the bad, and the ugly
• Up, up, and away (maybe this one’s a stretch, but hey, it’s three terms)
• Wash, rinse, and repeat
• Win, lose, or draw
• Work, rest, and play

Two Things That Go Together: Share Your Favorite Quote!

There are two things which are incomplete without each other: Sharing this post, and you!

So before you go, pin, send, share, or post your favorite quote image below. Be sure to tag your other half!

Did we miss your favorite “we go together like” simile? Comment below!!

The post 100+ Best “We Go Together Like…” Quotes appeared first on All Gifts Considered.

**Pregnant pause…….**

Of course it is! Getting old is hilarious.

With each passing year, it’s best to share a laugh about getting older with friends and family.

For a friend or loved one who has both an upcoming birthday to celebrate and – importantly – a great sense of humor, here are over a hundred old age jokes for birthday cards.

101 Old Age Jokes for Birthday Cards

We’ll start with our best one-liner old people jokes, then move in to funny birthday wishes for BFFs.

After that, you’ll find some great, humorous quotes about getting older, followed by the very best old-age puns.

Then we’ll wrap things up with birthday jokes and special wishes for seniors that will surely make them smile.

Enjoy!!

Best Old Age One-Liners for Birthday Cards

Short and sweet one-liners to poke fun at your favorite old fart.

1. Birthdays aren’t as fun when you’re older, but fortunately you don’t have many more to go.

2. You’re so old, I heard your social security number is 3.

3. You know you’re old when the candles cost more than the cake.

4. Congratulations on being able to cough, fart, sneeze, and pee at the same time!

5. With old age comes great wisdom
… and hairs in weird places that need to be plucked.

6. Fabulosity has no age.

7. Your birthday is becoming a serious fire hazard with all those candles.

8. Isn’t it a great feeling knowing you’re so old there’s nothing left to learn the hard way?

9. I wanted to give you a funny card, but I was concerned that at your age you might pee yourself.

10. Does it feel weird being the same age as old people?

11. Things that age well: Wine. Cheese. You.

12. Don’t you wish that you were as old as the first time you thought you were old?

13. So….. how old are we pretending to be this year?

14. I’m not going to make any hilarious jokes about getting old because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.

15. You’re not old, you’re 30 (plus shipping and handling).

16. One year closer to being back in diapers.

17. Allow me to suggest that this is the year you start lying about your age.

18. Congrats on being ancient.

19. It’s your birthday – smile while you still have teeth!

20. Happy birthday! You don’t look a day older than dirt.

Read: How to give someone a gift without being awkward

Old Age Birthday Wishes for BFFs

When your best friend celebrates a birthday, it’s always good to remind them that they’re, like, super old.

21. Don’t worry about getting older. You’re still going to do dumb stuff, only slower.

22. Happy birthday, dear friend. Now cash that social security check and let’s party like crazy!

23. You’re so old that if I told you to act your age, you’d probably drop dead.

24. Happy birthday to someone who has seen it all, done it all, and doesn’t remember a lick of it.

25. Happy birthday! Remember, be nice to your kids because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

26. Live each day as if it were your last… because at your age, it just might be.

27. It’s amazing that at our age, we still don’t need glasses. That’s because we drink straight from the bottle. Cheers on your birthday!

28. Shout out to my BFF on your birthday! (At your age, that’s the only way you can hear me.)

29. If the good die young… bestie, we just may live forever.

30. I’m not saying your old, but if you were milk I’d sniff you.

31. With age comes wisdom.
Happy birthday, genius.

32. Happy 29th birthday!
From your 110lb friend.

33. We’ll be friends ’til we’re old and senile… and then we’ll be new friends!
(plus we’ll be able make this joke every year and laugh like it’s the first time we heard it)

34. If you get stumbling-drunk for your birthday tonight, remember to wrap yourself in bubble wrap because people at your age break more easily.

35. Age gets better with wine.

36. We’re not old… we’re recycled teenagers.

37. I’m soooooooo glad we were young and crazy before there were cell phones and the internet and all that evidence.

38. You’re officially too old to drop it like it’s hot. So how about you just sit down like it’s warm. 

39. We’ll never be over the hill. After all, we’ll be too darn tired to try and climb it…

40. Happy birthday from your much (much) younger friend.

Related: 200 Simple Birthday Wishes

Funny Old Age Quotes for Birthdays

Some of our favorite birthday quotes about old age.

41. Happy birthday to someone who truly deserves to be treasured. After all, fossils from your era are hard to find.

42. They say age is just a number. For you, it’s a really, really big number. Happy birthday!

43. “You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” – Bob Hope

44. I know you don’t like attention on your birthday. I just wanted to send you a quick birthday message to cheer you up by reminding you that, thankfully, there aren’t many left.

45. How are stars like false teeth? They both come out at night!

46. Happy birthday, you old fart. I hope your birthday doesn’t stink.

47. I was going to poke fun at how old you’re getting on your birthday, but fortunately for you I was raised to respect my elders.

48. Remember, you don’t have to rewind Netflix videos when you’re done watching a movie.

49. You’re so old you get status updates on your friends from the obituary section.

50. Relax, you’re not getting old. That ship has sailed – you’ve been old for quite a while now.

51. Old age is coming to all of us. But mostly you. Happy birthday, old-timer.

52. Congrats on another year of not dying!

53. Another year closer to hearing aids, walkers, and velcro shoes!

54. Look who’s all grown up and ready for that annual colonoscopy!

55. You’re so old you walked into an antique store and they tried to sell you.

56. You know you’re old when your back goes out more than you do. I wish you the happiest of birthdays, falling asleep in your rocking chair!

57. Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of keeping you from shock when you go by a mirror.

58. You don’t actually get smarter as you get older. There’s just less stupid stuff left to do that you haven’t already done.

59. I’m not going to make any getting old jokes to dampen this momentous occasion. After all, the fact that you’re still alive is nothing short of a miracle and deserves to be celebrated.

60. If you find your new age hard to swallow, just add some tequila. That should do the trick.

Related: Happy Belated Birthday Wishes, Quotes, and Ideas to Coverup Your Screwup

Best Old Age Puns

Old people love punny birthday cards. These getting old puns are the geezer version of birthday dad jokes.

61. If you ever own a ranch, you should call it “Pasture Prime.”

62. When you were born, the Dead Sea was only sick.

63. Do you want to know the secret to having a smoking hot body at your age? Cremation.

64. I’ve got a great tip for you in your old age. Instead of calling the bathroom “the John,” call it “the Jim.” That way you can tell people, “I go to the Jim the first thing every morning!”

65. As you get older, don’t bother eating healthy food; go for packaged junk. You’re going to need all the preservatives you can get.

66. You’ve reached the age when everything is now beginning to click. Your knees, your hips, your elbows…

67. Age is a relative thing. All your relatives keep reminding you how old you are.

68. Don’t let your age get you down. After all, at your age, it’s hard to get back up again.

69. Did you know that there’s a prize for getting older? Yep – you get atrophy.

70. You and wine are the perfect pair. Wine improves with age, and you improve with wine.

71. This whole birthday thing is getting old, don’t you think?

72. Age is a number – keep yours unlisted.

73. It’s your birthday – time to let you hair down!
Oh, wait… I forgot, you don’t have any.

74. “As you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” – Norman Wisdom

75. I’m not saying you’re old, but if you were whiskey you’d be expensive. Really, really expensive.

76. I didn’t get you anything for your birthday because I wasn’t sure what you wanted. At your age, it usually… Depends.

77. In wine years, you are extra fine.

78. You’ve still got everything you had 20 years ago.
It’s all just a little bit lower now.

79. You’ll still cut the mustard! You’ll just need a little help opening the jar.

80. At this age, when you roll a joint it’s probably just your ankle.

Gift ideas for someone who’s actually super old: 100th Birthday Gifts & Party Ideas for a Beloved Centenarian

Funny Birthday Wishes for Seniors

Humorous yet sweet birthday wishes for senior citizens (or those getting close to senior citizenship!).

81. They say that with old age comes wisdom. That must mean you’re the wisest person in the world!

82. I’m going to take you out to dinner for your birthday – do you think you can get us all the senior discount?!?

83. In whiskey years, you just got more delicious.

84. Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the more you have, the longer you live.

85. Getting older has some benefits… Call it a “senior moment” and you can get away with just about anything!

86. Congrats on reaching the wonder years! You wonder where your keys are, wonder what day it is, wonder where your car is parked…

87. “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” – Lucille Ball

88. This year, may you always get up off the couch in two tries or less.

89. At least you’re not as old as you will be next year!

90. We’re going to try and get all the candles on your cake lit before the first ones burn down. Wish us better luck than last year!

91. May you get as much praise and attention on your birthday as the average millennial feels entitled to every day.

92. A very happy birthday to someone who is now taking drugs on their birthday for actual serious medical reasons.

93. Congratulations on being born!
A really, really long time ago.

94. The older you get, the better you get.
Unless you’re a banana.

Related: The Best Gifts for 90 Year Olds

95. “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?” – Satchel Paige

96. Happy birthday! Please accept my sincere condolences on your age.

97. I’ve heard it said that getting older is like living in a haunted house. There’s lots of noises and smells you just can’t explain.

98. For your birthday, I wanted to get you something to remind you of your youth. But they were all out of cave art and dinosaur bones, so I just got you this card. Happy birthday!

99. Happy birthday! But seriously, take it easy on the birthdays. Doctors agree that too many just might kill you.

100. “Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier

101. You’re not old. You’re a classic.

More funny birthday quotes: 100 Hilarious Quotes for DIY Birthday Cards

Funny Ways to Call Someone Old

Some of our favorite old age insults are just silly ways to call people old.

Here are some simple yet time-honored insults, affronts, and aspersions for old folks – in other words, good-old-fashioned name calling.

• Methuselah
• Overripe Avacado
• Vintage
• Raisin
• Fossil
• Over the Hill
• Geriatric
• Skinsag
• Slow Grandma (works for male or female)
• Old Coot
• Silver Top
• OAP (“Old Age Pensioner”)
• Fossilized Friend
• Dinosaur Enthusiast
• Living History Book
• Elderly Sage
• Prehistoric Pal
• Museum-worthy
• Ancient Mariner
• Weathered Wanderer
• Venerable Voyager
• Rustic Relic
• Wise Elder
• Young at Heart

Short Birthday Jokes for Adults

Let’s close with some simple old people roasts.

• You’ve been around so long, even the trees have wrinkles.
• You must have been one of the first to congratulate Moses on the Ten Commandments.
• So, how did they make the pyramids?
• Your childhood photos are ancient cave paintings.
• You’ve got more candles on your last birthday cake than there are stars in the sky.
• Age is just a number, and you’re so over it.
• When you were a kid, rainbows were in black and white.
• You’ve got more wrinkles than a pug in a windstorm.
• Back in your day, they didn’t have smartphones; they had stone tablets.
• You’ve seen so many birthdays; I bet you’ve forgotten half of them.
• Did you get scared when you used to hunt dinosaurs?
• You’re so old, your birth certificate is written in hieroglyphics.
• You’ve got more history than a history book.
• If age were a sport, you’d be the reigning champion.
• Will you tell me some stories about the Civil War?
• You’ve got so much wisdom; it’s a shame you can’t remember where you left your glasses.
• Do you remember when the wheel was invented?

Always remember to keep the tone light and ensure that the person being roasted is comfortable with these kinds of jokes.

That’s important because one of the marks of being an old person is being crochety sensitive.

The post 101 Best Old Age Jokes for Birthday Cards appeared first on All Gifts Considered.

Our website is supported by our users. We sometimes earn a commission when you click through the affiliate links on our website. See our privacy policy & disclosures for more information.

I am only a morning person on December 25th.

This Christmas, I am the gift. You’re welcome.

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if it runs out, I’ll drink the red. [we love this apron]

Dear Santa, I’m writing to let you know that I’ve been naughty — and it was worth it!

When you stop believing in Santa is when you start getting underwear!

You have such a pretty face, you should be on a Christmas card! — Elf

Time to get your “It’s just what I wanted” face on!

Stink. Stank. Stunk. – Mr. Grinch

Girl, you are sleighing.

Sleigh all day, then Cabernet.

Let’s get elfed up!

It’s the most wonderful time for a beer. [t-shirt here]

Will wrap for wine. [printable here]

Santa saw your Instagram, you are getting a Bible and clothes for Christmas. [ornament here]

Dear Santa, is it too late to be good?

Dear Santa, define naughty. [decor sign here]

Feast mode! [get the t-shirt]

Dear Santa, it was the cat. [this card is too cute]

Holidazed and confused.

But first, let me take an elfie. [these shirts would be perfect for photos]

Dear Santa, they are the naughty ones! [these would be fun for photos]

Here’s to hoping the reindeer eat the naughty list!

On the naughty list and we regret nothing.

May your family be functional and your batteries be included.

Naughty is the new nice.

Ho, ho, ho, pour that Merlot!

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year. — Victor Borge

Naughty or nice? Decisions, decisions…

Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gift with next year’s money.

Related: 100 Personalized Christmas Cards

Funny Christmas Card Ideas

Visual inspiration! These are perfect to send out to friends and family, to tag along with a Christmas present, or to deliver gift cards!

All I want for Christmas is Ewe

All I want for Christmas is ewe.

Happy Crimus, Merry Chrysler

It’s chrismum…

Whatever-mas

Merry Christmas. Or whatever. This is a free download and yours to enjoy!

You Otter Treat Each Other Real Good This Holiday Season

Merry Christmas to my significant otter.

Rudolph in a Blizzard

We know you laughed.

Mistletoad

No comment.

Rockin’ Christmas

Jingle bell rock.

At Least Golfers Will Appreciate It

A partridge on a par 3.

Bright & Yeti

May Your Days be Yeti and Bright.

Obligatory Christmas Card

We’re just checking off the list here, people. This is another free download for you to enjoy!

Book Lover’s Christmas Card

Wishing you a novel-ous holiday season! We love this li’l book Christmas tree.

Related: If you’re into reading, you’ll love to celebrate the Jolabokaflod tradition this Christmas

Let’s Be Honest…

Don’t pretend you don’t do this. Merry Pudmas, indeed.

The Red-nosed…Cow?

Moodolph. Not sure why that’s funny but it’s hilarious.

New traditions: 20 Elf on the Shelf Alternatives for Your Family

Elton John Holiday Card

Hold me closer, tiny Prancer.

Fra-Gee-Lay…

Fra-Gee-Lay… It Must be Italian! Happy Holidays!

‘Tis the season…ing

Oh, look, it’s Christmas thyme!

A Holiday Card for Dog Lovers

Dachshing through the snow. Because, you know, dachshunds.

The post 100 Funny Christmas Card Messages [Family Friendly] appeared first on All Gifts Considered.

5 Best Feel Better Soon Gifts

Do you have someone in your life whose love language is receiving gifts? We have some ideas to brighten their mood and hopefully chase some sickness blues away.

Wish them good health and a positive attitude with one of these gift ideas.

1. Giving Bear

Check Latest Price

Super soft and super snuggly, The Giving Bear plush teddy is a great way to provide a little comfort when they’re stuck to the couch or bed. Make it personal with a custom message.

2. Get Well Soon Spa Box

Check Latest Price

If your special someone needs a spa day but is too sick to go, then here’s your solution: Bring it on home. The Get Well Soon Spa Box is the best thing to help your loved one feel revitalized and ready for a good healing sleep.

3. A Giftable Hug- Giving Shawl

Check Latest Price

This ultra-soft shawl is a great to way to perma-hug your loved one. The Giving Shawl has two deep pockets and a note of much-needed encouragement.

4. Get Well Soon Candy Box

Check Latest Price

Sitting around the house feeling sick and bored, we are bound to get a few cravings. This Feel Better Soon Candy Box includes a personalized candy box (filled with candy from your favorite decade) and a get well soon card on the top of the box.

After a day of feeling bad, a Candygram would bring a smile to any kid’s face. Works for adults too! A thoughtful way to send your well wishes.

Related: Thoughtful Get Well Soon Gifts

5. Here for You Practical Care Packages

Check Latest Price

After being stuck in the house for any length of time, everyone will start needing some essentials. That’s when you send a Here For You Care Package.

These boxes have been curated by people who know what it’s like to experience difficulties. They designed it to include necessities like paper plates, tissue paper, utensils, and more. Plus they have plenty of add-ons, including spa, beauty, and personal care items.

You could send flowers, but something a little more practical may be required.

Feel Better Quote Images

The question is not how to get cured but how you can live the best self of yours.

Check Latest Price

Well… at least you don’t have to wear a cone.

Sorry about the bug that you caught.

Check Latest Price

You’re one tough cookie!

Check Latest Price

We’re rooting for you!

I’m really sick of you being sick!

Check Latest Price

We herd you were udder the weather

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

Psalm 46:1

Dinner is on me when you feel better… Are you better yet?

Check Latest Price

I hope thistle cheer you up!

Read Next: 27 Gift Ideas for People with Chronic Illness

The post 100 Feel Better Quotes for Good Days & Positive Vibes appeared first on All Gifts Considered.

Keep the dad jokes, groan-inducing puns and hilarity at an all time high during your friend’s retirement party celebrations. Laughter is always the best medicine, after all!

When it comes time to roast (or at the very least, lightly sear) your pal at his/her retirement party, we’ve got some great one-liners, funny retirement quotes and turns of phrases that will make them belly laugh. Read on! 

10 Funny Retirement Quotes

1. What do you call a person who loves Mondays? Retired.

2. “I’m not retiring… I’m graduating!” — Junior Seau

3. “You have to put off being young until you can retire.” — Unknown

4. “Now you can do nothing without getting caught at it!” — Gene Peret

5. Retirement: when you can finally stop lying about your age and just lie around the house instead!

6. “If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a real shortage of fishing poles.” — Doug Larson

7. YOU’RE FREE… to do what your wife tells you to do.

8. Under new management. Contact spouse for details.

9. Goodbye tension, hello pension!

10. A retired husband can be his wife’s full time job. 

Related: Perfect Retirement Gifts

Funny Retirement Wishes

11. Wishing you the best, and all the time in the world to tell us about it!

12. We’ve heard the money isn’t as good in retirement, but the perks sure are!

13. Enjoy never having to set an alarm again, you lucky duck!

14. It’s like you’ve extended your weekend by five days!

15. God retired after six days. What took you so long?

16. Hoping you’re not too old to remember all the good times you’re about to have!

17. It’s a six month holiday, twice a year!

18. Smart to retire now — before management finds all those mistakes you made!

19. Enjoy those greener pastures! Or the LazyBoy. Whatever you plan to do with your life now. 

20. “There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.” — Bill Waterson

Related: Happy Retirement Wishes for Coworkers or Boss

Best Funny Retirement Advice

21. Look at you, staying alive so long the company had to retire you. Enjoy!

22. “My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii.” — Julius Sharpe

23. Retire from it all! Stress, alarm clocks, diets, schedules, pants… actually, keep the pants. 

24. Best advice I can say is, don’t pair your black high socks with sandals and shorts. 

25. Life is too short. Seems like you’re close to figuring that out. 

26. Get outta the rat race — just remember you can’t spend as much cheddar!

27. Don’t act your age, for goodness sake! That’s against official retirement rules.

28. Hope to follow in your footsteps soon, so don’t walk too fast ahead of me. 

29. We’re all gonna miss the work you pretended to do around here. 

30. Retired? You? I thought you retired years ago! 

Funny Retirement One-Liners

31. You can’t retire from being great.

32. “Retirement. That’s when you return home from work one day and yell, ‘Honey, I’m home FOREVER!’” — Gene Perret

33. “You can’t have the comeback if you don’t have the retirement.” — Chael Sonnen

34. “Some of the best memories are made in flip flops.” — Kellie Elmore

35. “As in all successful ventures, the key to a good retirement is good planning.” — Earl Nightingale

36. Enjoy the world’s longest coffee break.

37. Jobs are an invasion of privacy!

38. “Retire from work, but not from life!” — M.K. Soni

39. “Age is an issue of mind over matter: if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” — Mark Twain

40. “Work is the curse of the drinking class.” — Oscar Wilde 

Best Funny Retirement Cards

Our website is supported by our users. We sometimes earn a commission when you click through the affiliate links on our website. See our privacy policy & disclosures for more information.

Oh sure, you can go to the supermarket or Hallmark like everyone else when shopping for a great card for your coworker. But therein lies the problem… You might end up with the SAME card as everyone else!

So, do what I do — buy the greatest and most personal card online. They’re funnier, cleverer (is that a word?), and more unique. 

Here are some that have us rolling with laughter!

41. Retirement Cod

Related: Fishing Retirement Gifts

42. What Do You Call a Person

43. Here Lies Retirement Jumbo Card

44. Retirement Dilemmas

45. Worked Your Whole Life

46. A Wise Woman

47. Legend Has Retired Jumbo Card

48. Retiree Alarm Clock

49. A Big Happy Retirement Jumbo Card

50. Some Quitters Really Do Win

Best Retired Business Cards

What a fun idea. Just because you’re retired doesn’t mean you can’t whip out a business card at a moment’s notice for a little networking! And by networking, we of course mean finding fellow retirees who can do a little day drinking, golfing, traveling, and eating together. 

These ones really take the (retirement) cake, so to speak:

51. Retirement Cards with Gold Case

52. Beach Themed Retirement Business Card

53. Permanently Out of Office

54. Retired Don’t Bother Me

55. Kraft paper Retired Business Card

REMEMBER: once you’ve found a great card, written some heartfelt and/or witty one liners, and celebrated with the proud retiree, it’s time to think about what’s really important: Your own retirement!

Time to dream, plan, get inspired, and maybe order a few business cards of your own… It’s never too early for goals! 

Read Next: 55 Approved Messages for Your Favorite Coworker

The post Funny Retirement Quotes They’ll Actually Laugh At appeared first on All Gifts Considered.

All kidding aside, you want to have some heart-felt (or funny) sentiments and messages for that special person. Just signing your name to a group card? No way! Totally gauche. You’re better than that, and they deserve more.

Here are some ideas to get your pen flowing once you’ve picked out the perfect retirement card! (And yes, we’ve got you covered on the card front as well. Just keep scrolling.)

Our website is supported by our users. We sometimes earn a commission when you click through the affiliate links on our website. See our privacy policy & disclosures for more information.

Best Retirement Messages for Your Coworker

1. Am I proud of you? Sad to see you go? Confused about the hole in my life? All of the above!

2. It’s a sad day for me, but three cheers and a HUZZAH for you!

3. You’re leaving me? *cues music* “Alll byyy myyyself.”

4. This place won’t be the same without your warm smile, witty comebacks, and knowhow! 

5. So excited for all the adventures you’re going to have. Stop by to tell us all about them!

6. We’re living vicariously through you now, buddy! Don’t let us down!

7. Hey, don’t be a stranger! That’s an order. Oh right. You don’t have to take orders anymore… 

Related: Funny Retirement Quotes

8. You’re going to leave quite the hole — we will miss you!

9. What size shoe are you? *Desperately looks for someone to fill yours*

10. I’m sad to see you go, but oh-so happy to know you’re retiring!

11. You’ve earned some major retirement kickbacks, my friend!

12. Cheers to you — my mentor and inspiration at work!

13. You’re retiring? Well, color me jealous. 

14. I’ve been looking up to you for so long, and that won’t stop now! Happy retirement! 

15. It’s your day and boy-oh-boy, have you earned it. Let’s get this party started!

16. Best wishes for the absolute best coworker! We can’t wait to hear all about retirement life.

17. Socks with sandals, day drinking, a nap here and there… Go get that retirement, buddy!

18. Here’s to golfing, fishing, and never knowing what day it is. Happy retirement!

19. Hope retirement is all it’s cracked up to be! (And if not, come back to work, ok?)

20. You’re the best coworker I’ve ever had. Someone give me sympathy and a “sorry for your loss” card already!

More: Retirement Wishes for Outstanding Coworkers

Best Retirement Quotes for Every Coworker

21. I can’t believe you’re leaving us — the lights of your life! Well, okay, then. Humph.

22. Come in on your day off to say hi… Wait. All your days are days off.

23. This place won’t be the same without your smiling face and goofy antics!

24. So pleased to hear of your retirement! We can’t wait to hear about all of your adventures in this next phase of life. 

25. So happy for you on this, your day of retirement! So very well earned and we’re so excited for you.

26. I know you’ve been waiting for this day for so many years! Go out there and have some fun in your retirement years.

27. You’ve always been someone I could look up to at work! Now, I can admire the way you retire and plan mine accordingly!

28. I can’t believe the day is finally here. You go, girl! 

29. Happy retirement day to my favorite of coworkers (don’t tell the rest of those slackers)!

30. It’s your day! Here’s to cake and toasts, gifts and cards and — most of all — here’s to you!

Related: Perfect Retirement Gifts

Short Retirement Messages for Your Coworker

31. Congratulations on a much deserved retirement!

32. Nice job, buddy! You did it.

33. The day is finally here! Now, let’s party.

34. Congratulations and let’s raise a glass to you!

35. You’re retiring? How long has this been coming? 

36. Nobody cares that I’m losing my favorite coworker. 

37. Grab life by the horns!

38. It’s the day you’ve been dreaming of! Happy retirement! 

39. I’m so excited for you, I could cry happy tears!

40. Take me with you… Please.

41. I’m so happy for you, I could scream!

42. Happy retirement day to you — you’ve earned every bit of happiness coming your way. 

43. Is there a retirement dance we can do? No? There should be.

44. You’ve done it! You’ve escaped! Er, I mean, retired.

45. So much joy is headed your way on this, your retirement day! 

Related: Affordable Retirement Gifts for Coworkers

Best Retirement Cards for Your Favorite Coworker

Once you’ve settled on your pick of retirement messages for your coworker, next comes the perfect card! You can just ring one up at the supermarket as you’re scanning your milk and eggs, but come on. Let’s be a little more creative!

Speaking of creativity, there are some dang funny and clever cards out there on the ol’ interweb… Ones that are much funnier and more unique. Kind of like your favorite coworker, right? 

Here are some we found that made our faces hurt from smiling. Don’t you love that kind of pain? We know we do. So, do yourself a favor and purchase a few — they’re nice to have on hand for retirement…emergencies? Okay, that’s probably not a thing. But it never hurts to be prepared.

46. I Can’t Believe You are Escaping

47. Go Live Your Retirement Dreams

48. First of All

49. Rested Relaxed Refreshed

50. This Was Not a Team Decision

51. Illustrated Dog Retirement Card

52. Easy Stamped Retirement Card

53. Take Us With You!

54. Retirement (Noun) Card

55. Here’s to the Next Chapter

Once you’ve found that perfect card, written the most amazing of messages and gussied yourself up for the retirement party, you can rest easy! Knowing that the best time is yet to come gives you something to look forward to, afterall. Your own retirement! 

So, maybe share this article with your friends and family so they, too, can be prepared and inspired when that time comes… 

Read Next: Retirement Party Ideas

The post 55 Approved Retirement Messages For Your Favorite Coworker appeared first on All Gifts Considered.

But also, it’s a time to be proud of them and all they’ve accomplished! Not to mention happy that they get some much earned time to themselves for a change. 

When it comes time to attend that retirement party, show up with some well thought-out and meaningful messages to put in your card. Or say them face to face! To help get you started, here’s our list of the best retirement messages for your boss.

Best Retirement Wishes for Your Boss

1. We wish you all the best in the world — you deserve it!

2. So happy to see you retiring after all the good work you’ve done!

3. Our loss is terrible, but we sure are happy for you.

4. The building won’t be the same without you in it everyday. Don’t forget to come by to say hello!

5. Only the best for you because you’ve been the best!

6. Terribly sad to see you go, but so ecstatic for the things you will get to do next!

Related: Perfect Retirement Gifts

7. You’ve been the King/Queen of the office and will be so, so missed.

8. Best wishes to you — my boss, mentor, example, and friend.

9. I can’t wait to hear of all the adventures you’re going to have next!

10. Wishing you only the best in these, your retirement years.

11. I see great things in your future: things like fishing, napping, traveling, and putting your feet up!

12. Wishing you the best in this next chapter of your life… retirement!

13. I can’t help but be jealous and want to follow in your footsteps (but what else is new?).

14. When it comes to being the boss, you’ve been the very best. Happy retirement to you!

15. You’ve earned years and years of happiness and contentment. Go get ‘em!

16. All of my best wishes for your health and happiness. Happy retirement, boss!

17. I know you’ve been dreaming of this day for years! I hope it’s everything you’ve wished for and more!

18. Best wishes to the best boss a person could ever hope for. 

19. You’ve been such an example to us all. Happy retirement!

20. It’s here! It’s here! The day you’ve been waiting for! Best wishes on your retirement.

Related: Co-Worker Retirement Gift Ideas

Retirement Quotes for Your Boss

21. “The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.” — Abe Lemons

22. “There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.” — Calvin and Hobbes

23. “It’s better to live rich than to die rich.” — Samuel L. Jackson

24. “If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there would be a shortage of fishing poles.” — Doug Larson

25. “Go forward and make your dreams come true.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

26. “Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.” — Fred Rogers

27. “To be idle is an excellent way of being busy.” — Thomas Carlyle

28. “He who laughs last at the boss’s jokes probably isn’t that far from retirement.”  — Unknown

29. “Retirement is when having a good time is your only job.” — Unknown

30. “There are three ways to ultimate success. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.” — Fred Rogers

Related: Best Retirement Gifts for Principals

Creative Retirement Messages

31. I’ve never admired and wanted to be you more than I do right now. Congrats on your retirement!

32. You’ve been the bee’s knees for so long. We will miss you here at the office!

33. What an example you’ve set! Who will I look up to now?

34. I hope your future is filled with all things bright and sunny!

35. Congratulations on your retirement, you wonderful thing, you!

36. You’ve been such a blessing to me all these years. You’ve earned a wonderful retirement.

37. Don’t forget us little people when you leave! Come back to shoot the breeze anytime.

38. I know my workdays won’t be the same without you in them. Mourning my loss, but celebrating your retirement plans!

39. So happy to see you doing what you love most. Have the most fun ever in your retirement years!

40. I’ve learned so much from you, boss. Don’t be a stranger!

Related: Work Approved Retirement Messages

Funny Retirement Messages for Boss

41. Run! Don’t look back! Save yourself!

42. Welp. This is it. This is goodbye. Don’t forget the little people.

43. You have put up with us for so long, you’ve definitely earned your retirement! 

44. Quick, go, before we change our minds!

45. Have fun doing nothing, you slacker-to-be.

46. You’re dead to me now. Hope you’re happy.

47. What? You couldn’t just take a couple weeks off? You’re gonna leave us FOREVER?!

48. Go ahead and shed a tear. We’re waiting. 

49. TAKE ME WITH YOU.

50. You’ve put up with our shenanigans long enough, I see. 

Related: Funny Retirement Wishes & Quotes

Best Retirement Cards for Your #1 Boss

Our website is supported by our users. We sometimes earn a commission when you click through the affiliate links on our website. See our privacy policy & disclosures for more information.

51. May You Be Proud of the Work

52. Personalized Retirement Card

53. Truly Amazing Boss is Hard to Find

54. Gonna Tell a Joke

55. Congrats on Your Retirement

56. Your Survived All the Meetings

57. Floral Retirement Card

58. Your New Schedule

59. The Difference Between Workplace & Nice Place to Work

60. Goodbye Tension Hello Pension

Read Next: Retirement Party Ideas

The post Retirement Messages for Your Number One Boss appeared first on All Gifts Considered.